Magic and Mushrooms
by illori leene
Summary: One night, while on a training journey, magical mushrooms brought them together. They thought they could put it behind them, but there will be consequences and there will be chaos. (Female Ranma x Ryoga)
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: **I'm going to try to deal with a serious situation in as lighthearted a way as possible, as I want to keep the general feel of the original series. No matter what awful things happened in the original work it was always handled in a fun, upbeat or zany way. If you are looking for angst and deep drama, this isn't the place, but neither will it be an all out gag fic. I've tried to stick to the character's personalities as much as possible in the situation I've created, although they do go through some growth.

In third person Ranma will be referred to as she or he based on his/her gender at the time. People will refer to Ranma as he/she based on their perception of Ranma's gender in that moment.

Constructive criticism is welcomed, learning from my mistakes is how I'll grow :)

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma 1/2 or any of the characters within.**

**Magic and Mushrooms**

**Prologue**

Pit-pat-pit-pat-pit-pat-pit-pat

_Great, it's raining again... _ was the first thought that ran through Ryoga's mind upon waking. His second thought was more of a realization as he became aware that he had his arms wrapped around the small, warm, -naked- body that was nestled up against him. Well, one hand was wrapped around her, the other was cupping her right breast. That thought caused his fingers to flinch, which the girl definitely seemed to notice. Ryoga opened his eyes to see just what he had done last night (or who, as the case may be)._ Oh no..._

* * *

><p>Pit-pat-pit-pat-pit-pat-pit-pat<p>

_Ugh, it's so cold when it rains... _was the first thought that ran through Ranma's mind upon waking. Her second thought was more of a realization as she became aware of an extremely warm body behind her and snuggled closer to it for the heat. It began to occur to her that it felt an awful lot like a -naked- male body with his arms wrapped around her, one hand resting on her breast. The hand squeezed. Ranma's eyes flew open and she turned to see just what she had done last night (or who, as the case may be). _Oh no..._

* * *

><p>Two screams of sheer horror rang out across the mountainside. Birds fled their nests despite the rain and animals dove for cover. Far away in the Tendo dojo, Akane awoke with a start. An ominous feeling settled over her. <em>I do hope those two are all right...<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

"Ranma, Prepare to die!"

Ranma had been minding her own business in the back yard, happily eating takoyaki that she had charmed off a local vendor for free. Yes, being a girl had it's definite up sides. Unfortunately her snack was being interrupted by a noisy idiot, a noisy idiot that had just busted open a small crater in the ground next to her feet with his ridiculously heavy umbrella.

"Aw, come on Ryoga, lemme eat first." She whined as she dodged his slow (well, compared to Ranma anyway), but no doubt, powerful blows.

"No excuses will delay this fight Ranma. Today we settle this like men!" He yelled, ignoring entirely the fact that Ranma was not currently a man at all. Ranma landed on the umbrella that he had thrust in her direction. She popped a takoyaki in her mouth and back-flipped off again.

"Just two minutes man." She shuddered slightly as she said the next part, "I'll share."

"As if I'd share anything with you!" He whipped off several bandanas and threw them in her direction.

"Ha! Your aim is way off." She gloated.

"I wasn't aiming for you." Was his smug reply.

Just then a bandana boomeranged back and whacked the takoyaki out of her grasp. She watched the container as it fell, seemingly in slow motion, to land face down in the grass. Her hands balled into trembling fists and a rather terrifying battle aura emanated from her. That was it, Ryoga Hibiki was going to pay!

A whirlwind of destruction and chaos ensued in the Tendo's yard. Curses were uttered, threats were made and violence reigned. All in all, a fairly ordinary afternoon since the arrival of the Saotomes.

The battle started off decidedly in Ranma's favor, until Ryoga dropped his immense backpack, it landed with an ear splitting bang. _Huh, how did I not notice that until now? _Ranma wondered. Ryoga's speed increased dramatically, which forced Ranma to go on the defensive. She was very narrowly dodging the torrent of punches and kicks he was sending her way. _Oh, man. If any of these actually hit me, I'm gonna be in trouble. _With that thought in mind, she ran up the tree behind her and flipped over his head. This would have been a good plan were it not for the takoyaki container laying forgotten on the ground. As her foot touched down it slipped out from under her, causing her to fall backwards. Ryoga took the opportunity and drove his fist into her stomach.

_Holy mother of $&#+/=!¥¢ That hurts!_ Ranma clutched at her midsection and rolled onto her side, groaning.

"What is going on here?!" Demanded an irate Akane as she assessed the damage to her family's property.

"A-Akane! I, err... That is, we... uh..." babbled Ryoga with one hand characteristically behind his head.

Ranma managed to climb to her feet, still clutching her wounded stomach. "Just a bit of sparring between friends Akane. No need ta make a big deal of it."

"Friends? Friends! What kind of friends would cause this much devastation during a match? Were you trying to kill each other?" She didn't wait for a response and continued her rant, "I am sick and tired of you two fighting like this all the time! I've had it! That's it! You two are going to get along whether you like it or not. I'm sending you both on a survival training journey through the mountains, just the two of you. You will be forced to cooperate, or you'll both die of starvation!" That said, she spun on her heel and strode angrily back into the house.

"Hey Ryoga, we are friends, right?" Ranma asked, surprised that Akane would question that fact. She knew, or at least she thought she knew, that Ryoga had come by to test the results of some new training. Not to actually harm her.

"I don't know if I'd go quite that far..." Ryoga replied. He supposed Ranma was the closest thing he had to a friend, but he had no intentions of revealing it. The whole 'prepare to die' thing was really just a greeting born of habit by now.

That answer seemed to satisfy her though, because she flashed him a small smile.

"So what's with the backpack?" She asked as she attempted to lift it. _Damn that's heavy_. The attempt was aggravating her injury so she gave up.

"Well... don't laugh ok?" He waited until he saw her nod. "I got the idea from a cartoon... Dragonball. The characters in that show wore heavy turtle shells on their backs while training and when they took them off their speed had improved."

Ranma's cheeks puffed and were reddening as she attempted to hold in her laughter. _It's no good... _soon she was giggling wildly in a most unmanly way.

"Hey! It worked didn't it? I won today." The giggles ceased immediately.

"Only 'cause I was a girl." Ranma huffed. She decided then that the trip Akane was sending them on was a good opportunity to train her girl half. Always training as a guy had left that part of her more vulnerable.

Deciding to change the subject as they walked into the house to get cleaned up, she asked, "So, have you picked up any other training advice from cartoons lately?"

* * *

><p>Ranma stuffed the last items he needed on top of the weights he had added to his backpack and zipped it up.<p>

A week had passed since Akane had declared that he and Ryoga were to go on a training journey. Soun and Genma had readily agreed. There had been a look of pride on Genma's face and tears streaking down Soun's cheeks as the pair reminisced about training trips they had taken as youths. The two men had set to work drawing up a map that outlined a journey they had once themselves taken.

Ryoga was already in the Tendo's sitting room when Ranma came down the stairs.

"Take a seat son." Soun gestured to the space across from him at the table.

As Ranma made himself comfortable Genma entered the room with an armload of various supplies. "Boy, this is a survival journey. Your training is of course important, but your teamwork is what will be tested. You will start your fires by hand and catch your own food. The route we have planned was designed to push you to your very limits. These," he pushed the items he held forward, "are your emergency supplies. They are for use in life or death situations only. If you return having used these up, your journey will be considered a failure and you will bring shame to the Anything Goes school of martial arts. Do you understand?"

"Yeah Pops, I hear ya." He replied in a bored tone. _How bad could it possibly be? He sure is being overly dramatic about it. it's not like I've never caught my own dinner before. _Ranma thought to himself.

The whole Tendo family gathered in the yard to bid the boys farewell.

"Stay safe." Kasumi said sincerely.

"No fighting." Akane said with a warning in her voice.

"Watch out for lions, tigers and bears." Nabiki cautioned.

"Oh my, I doubt they'll encounter any of those along the route father chose." Kasumi exclaimed.

"That depends on whether or not Ryoga is holding the map." Nabiki replied dryly.

Everyone but the boy in question laughed at that. Ryoga merely growled to himself. _It's not like I don't know that I have a lousy sense of direction, no need to rub it in. _Instead of voicing this thought he merely said, "Goodbye Akane, we'll... I'll behave, I promise."

"Oh, before you go..." Akane ran back into the house to grab something. She returned a minute later with two bento boxes wrapped in cloth. "I know you are supposed to work for your dinner, but I thought that just this once wouldn't hurt." She held out the two bentos with a smile that clearly revealed just how oblivious she was to the state of her own cooking.

Ranma tried to back away, but Ryoga elbowed him in the gut. "Thank you for your thoughtfulness Akane." He said as he accepted the boxes then nudged Ranma with his foot.

"Yes, thank you Akane..." Ranma bit out through clenched teeth.

Everyone said their goodbyes and the pair were soon leaping from rooftop to rooftop, heading out of the city.

"Hold up Ryoga." Ranma said once they were a good distance from the dojo.

Ryoga stopped and watched as Ranma pulled out a canteen and poured water over his head. "What are you doing?" He asked.

She grinned, "Training my girl half, when we're done you won't beat this side of me again!"

"Why change now then, why not at the dojo?"

"Can you imagine how much Pops'd make fun of me if he knew I planned ta spend the next two months as a girl?" _Or how ashamed he'd be. Not to mention what mom would think if she found out..._ Ranma shook her head. "Never mind that, race ya!"

"Hey! Get back here." Losing sight of Ranma was not an option, Ryoga really didn't fancy a visit to the Sahara just now.

* * *

><p>Evening was closing in as they reached the outskirts of Tokyo. They were forced to make camp in an empty lot, this wasn't really unusual for Ryoga, it seemed to him that he had spent half his life living out of tents in empty lots.<p>

They sat in front of their tent eyeing down the bento boxes. Their stomachs growled in unison, and yet they did not eat.

"Akane probably put a lot of effort into making them..." Ryoga commented, but he made no move to open either of them. Ranma remained silent.

"If she thought we didn't eat them, she'd be mad..." He continued, but still he did not reach for the boxes. He glanced at Ranma, who still hadn't said a word.

"She'd be heartbroken if she knew we threw them out..." His face paled at the recollection of the last meal of Akane's he'd eaten. He'd been a pig at the time which meant his sense of taste had been even more sensitive than a human. _Ugh..._

"Our stomachs will be broken if we do eat them." Ranma answered at last. She picked up the one meant for her and threw it in a nearby dumpster, she would not be guilted into eating that slop.

Ryoga silently apologized to Akane as he dropped his in the garbage after Ranma. He didn't want to start this trip off with a case of food poisoning.

Both their stomachs grumbled again. "So what now? Unless you feel like alley cat, there is nothing to catch this close to town." Ryoga asked.

"Hmm, ya know, I bet I can find a catch." She replied with a sly grin. "C'mon, I saw a food cart two blocks back." She grabbed Ryoga by the sleeve and dragged him off in the right direction.

"But we're not allowed to buy food." Ryoga didn't want to break his word or lie to the Tendos.

"Don't worry, we won't pay a single yen and it's within the rules. I'll get dinner using my skills." Ranma winked at him. "Look, there's the cart!" She pointed across the street. "Now to wait for a good catch."

Ryoga wasn't certain what she was up to, she just kept telling him to keep quiet and trust her. So he did. They stood off in an allyway for almost twenty minutes before Ranma whispered, "There!" She looked at him, "You wait here."

He watched as she pinched herself to make her eyes water, then she crossed the street to speak to a young man in a suit. He couldn't hear what she was saying, but she had her hands up under her chin and looked adorably sad. The man nodded at her, causing her to smile thankfully and grab hold of his arm. The two walked up to the food cart and Ranma excitedly pointed at several items, pausing in between to bat her eyelashes at the man. She pointed at even more food and the man's eyes grew comically wide, she then ran the back of her hand down his arm while looking into his eyes. The man relented and several minutes later she handed him a slip of paper and waved goodbye to him. The man was smiling from ear to ear.

Ranma was grinning like the cat that got the canary (or the Genma that got the last pickle) as she ducked into the ally. "Told ya he was a catch." She said as she presented the very large bag of food.

"Ranma..." Ryoga was stunned momentarily, "did you just hit on a _guy_?" The thing he found the most scary was just how good she seemed at it. _Just how many times has he done this?_

"I prefer to think of it as a con. Really, what's the good of great looks like these," she motioned up and down, indicating herself, "if ya can't get a little something out of it?"

Ryoga shivered, "You sound like Nabiki." She shrugged and turned to head back to camp. There was a bounce in her step as though she was exceedingly pleased with herself.

"Did you give him your phone number?" Ryoga asked, more than a little disturbed by the whole display.

"Of course not." Ryoga sighed with relief, at least she hadn't gone crazy. "I gave him the number to the Cat Cafe, who knows, maybe he'll take Shampoo off my hands." She snickered. Ryoga thought the whole thing was rather cruel, having been tricked by Ranma on numerous occasions, but he was hungry so he tried not to over think it.

The food turned out to be quite good. Ryoga was pleased to see Ranma eating like a pig, as unfeminine as was possible. Ranma acting like a girl, albeit a manipulative one, was something he'd be quite happy never to see again.

* * *

><p>The mountain range Soun and Genma had selected was notorious for being the most deadly in Japan. Looking up at it now Ryoga and Ranma could see why. It was tall, too tall to see the highest snow covered peak, with sheer cliff faces that could easily drop a man to his death. Vegetation was dense in areas and sparse in others. They were to scale the entire range, taking the path laid out for them on the map.<p>

"Here? Are you sure Ranma? Let me see that map." Ryoga reached out to grab it from her hands.

"No way!" She leapt back. "You ain't touchin' it. This is the place marked on the map for sure."

"What about that?" He pointed at a nearby sign.

**-WARNING DANGER-**

**Trail closed until further notice**

"That's for regular people Ryoga, we're martial artists. Besides Pops and Mr. Tendo went this way and we can do anything they can." Her fist was clenched in determination as she strode past the sign and into the thick undergrowth.

Ryoga followed her, pushing brush out of his way as he went. Had he not been entirely focused on following Ranma he might have noticed that the lower half of the sign was now visible and continued on to read:

**Due to dangerous invasive fungus**

**Do not eat under any circumstances.**

But he did not notice, so the pair carried on.

When they reached the first campsite indicated on the map they were both drenched in sweat. The hike through the dense foliage had been exhausting. Ranma had been tearing her way through the vines and bushes littering the forest floor. Ryoga had been cutting his way through with his chi hardened belt.

"You gotta teach me how ta do that." Ranma said, pointing at the strip of cloth in his hand.

"Sure, why not. After dinner." He said as he started to set up camp.

"Lucky for us, the map takes us along a stream for a few days. Getting food will be easy at this rate. I wonder if Pops was exaggerating when he said this would push us to our limits."

"This is only the first day Ranma, I wouldn't get too cocky just yet."

* * *

><p>"Ranma!" Ryoga exclaimed in annoyance.<p>

"Careful P-chan, you promised Akane that you wouldn't get mad at me." Ranma sing-songed.

"Dammit Ranma, just put some clothes on!" He wiped his nose on his sleeve, yep, it was bleeding.

"I'm not gonna go swimming with my clothes on Ryoga, they'll get all wet. You try catching some fish why dontcha?" She crossed her arms as if to make her point, but this only pushed her breasts together and upward, increasing Ryoga's discomfort.

_He's not a girl. He's not a girl. He's not a girl. _"Dammit Ranma, you know I can't. I'd just turn into a pig. Just get in the water already then! You don't have to prance around like that." The sight of Ranma in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts was really doing his head in. Ranma's female side was certainly beautiful with an incredible body, but it was _Ranma_. He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration.

A little twinkle lit up the corner of Ranma's eye. She just couldn't resist, for reasons beyond her explanation teasing Ryoga was one of her favorite pastimes. Silently she crept up on him while he wasn't looking and wrapped both of her arms around one of his. Her breasts were ever so slightly grazing his arm.

A visible shiver ran up his spine, caused by a mixture of revulsion, shame and lust. He looked down and opened his mouth to yell at her but she was looking up at him with huge, sad, watery eyes. The words caught in his throat.

"What's wrong? Am I not pretty enough for you Ryoga?" She asked with a tremble of her lip.

His cheeks reddened and his brain misfired, "Uh... I didn't... I don't..."

_Success_. Reaching up, she flicked his nose and with teasing grin said, "Gotcha!" She dropped his arm and took off running before he came back to his senses.

Humiliation washed over him, which rapidly turned to rage. "Ranma!" He would have given chase, but she was already knee deep in the cold water.

_This is gonna be a fun trip. _Ranma thought with a smile. Then she calmed her breathing and waited motionless in the water for her prey.

Ryoga huffed angrily and turned to get the fire started. At least with the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken Ranma could be relied on to catch a few fish. _This is gonna be a long trip. _He thought with a sigh.


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning: **Sex is implied in this chapter, but the description barely touches second base to keep things T.

**Edited to add: ****Author's Note: **I wanted to add some information about why I think Ramna feeling female is plausible within this fic. Brain scans have shown that men and women have differences in parts of their brain and that transsexuals' brains are more similar in shape to the opposite gender or a mix of the two. This means gender perception could come from the formation of these brain regions, meaning it could be physical, not psychological. Now, when Ryoga, Shampoo or Mousse transform, their brains must be altered to fit in the smaller skulls, this means that Ranma's brain itself is subject to change from the male type to the female type. While Ranma's memories and certainly pride would be telling him he's always a male, _her_ body and subconscious mind while female could be sending her a different signal. Go ahead, Google "Transsexual differences caught on brain scan".

Constructive criticism is welcomed, learning from my mistakes is how I'll grow :)

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma 1/2 or any of the characters within.**

**Magic and Mushrooms ch2**

In the days that followed the two made their way steadily upward. The slope grew more and more steep each day and the undergrowth more dense. By night Ryoga trained Ranma to use the Iron Cloth technique. She had learned to use her belt as a blade rapidly, but using cloth as a projectile was proving far more difficult to master. She kept losing control of the chi once the cloth left her hand.

"Dammit!" She cried after another failed attempt.

"You have to visualize the chi. Imagine it's still connected to you by an invisible tether. Don't try to control it yet, just maintain it." He advised.

"Right." She nodded and tried again. The bandana fell limply to the ground. "Arg!" She threw another dozen, but the result was the same.

Ryoga gathered them up and brought them back to her. "I have an idea. You are pretty good at sensing other people's chi, right?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, put your hand on my wrist." She made a face at him that suggested she'd rather eat mud (as if she hadn't hung off his arm on numerous occasions).

"You want to learn or not? I'm just trying to help here." With a sigh she gripped his wrist.

Ryoga filled the cloth he was holding with chi. "Can you feel that?"

Ranma could easily sense it, with her hand on his wrist it was almost as if it were her own chi. "I can."

"Good, I'm going to throw it now. Don't let go." He pulled his arm back, then forward and released.

Ranma could see now what he meant by a tether. It was like a fine thread of chi was connecting the cloth to his body. She was confident she could do it now. "Thanks Ryoga."

It only took a few more attempts for her to figure it out. "Yes!" She cried as she did a victory dance.

Ryoga laughed at the spectacle she was making of herself. "Hehe, you didn't even learn the coolest part yet."

"What is that?" She asked.

"Directional control. I'm just learning it myself really. If we worked together though..." The whole point of this trip was teamwork after all.

Ranma recalled how he'd knocked the takoyaki out of her hand previously. He'd made the bandana reverse course like a boomerang. She did a little fist pump in excitement. "Let's do this!"

* * *

><p>The trail led them steadily away from the water that had been their main source of food. They were able to catch some small game at first, but then the rain hit. They had been stuck in their tent for several days now because it was pouring so hard that every drop splashed back up. Ryoga couldn't stay human outside for more than a few minutes. He'd used up all the hot water he'd had in his thermos, and now they couldn't even start a fire to boil more.<p>

The real problem though was that they were getting extremely hungry.

"You're crazy! You'll never find anything in this weather." He told her.

"I've gotta try or we're gonna starve." She insisted while grabbing his umbrella and exitting the tent. There was no way she was going to eat the emergency rations unless she was on her death bed.

Ranma wandered through the woods for what seemed like hours. She was cold, she was wet, the ground was slick with mud and there were no animals out and about. She was about to give up when she noticed the mushrooms growing at the base of a big tree. Come to think of it, she had seen them growing all over the mountainside.

She pulled out the map, her father had circled different sections and assigned each one a number. They were in the area marked '2', she checked the legend. Genma had included information for identifying poisonous plants, there were two in this section. There were no poisonous mushrooms listed in the area though so she folded the front of her shirt to form a little pocket and loaded it with mushrooms. She even collected more on the walk back.

"Hey Ryoga, this was the best I could do in this weather." She said when she entered the tent.

He inspected them. They looked odd, a little too colorful. "You sure they aren't poisonous?"

"Yep, I checked with Pop's map."

"It's better than nothing I suppose." They divided up the mushrooms and started to eat. "Wow, these are really good." He was surprised, they were unlike any mushroom he'd ever tried before.

"Tell me about it!" She agreed as she stuffed her face.

Soon all the mushrooms were gone and the two sat back relaxed, their hunger sated.

A chill ran up Ranma's spine. _Ooh, I'm freezing. It must be these wet clothes_. She started to remove them.

Ryoga noticed Ranma moving around and realized she was getting undressed. A strange feeling washed over him, making him lightheaded. _She has really nice tits _He thought, followed by, _What the heck am I thinking? Snap out of it, he's a he. _He shook his head, but the lightheadedness didn't clear. He opened his mouth intending to tell her to put some clothes on, but what came out was, "It's such a shame you aren't a girl. You're beautiful." His face turned red immediately. _What is wrong with me?_

Ranma was shocked, _he didn't really say that did he? I must be imagining things..._ when she looked at him she could see sincerity and confusion written all over his face. A strange feeling washed over her, making her lightheaded. She opened her mouth to tell him she was a guy, so too bad, but what came out was, "Don't be ridiculous, of course I'm a girl." _What the heck? Why did I tell him that?_ She shook her head, but the lightheadedness didn't clear.

His heart rate accelerated at those words. "What do you mean? I know you Ranma, I know you're a guy." He wondered why would Ranma lie about something like that that to him, and why she wasn't putting any clothes on even though she was getting goose bumps. _Not that I'm complaining... wait, what? Of course I'm complaining! _

"Simple. When I'm a boy I'm a boy. When I'm a girl I'm a girl." _Stop! Stop talking! _She screamed internally. _No! You've suppressed this too long, stop lying to yourself! _"You must have noticed from your own curse that you inherit traits from your other form. Pops eats bamboo and likes it, he rolls around all the time with that tire of his like a circus animal, then there's how lazy he gets, well, more 'n usual." Ranma wanted to deny her own words, but they were true. "Ryoga, when I'm a girl, I'm attracted to boys. That's why I've always fought against the curse so hard. I've suppressed it and repressed it and denied it, but my curse doesn't just make me look like a girl, I _am_ one." Ranma had never intended to reveal her deepest, most shameful secret to anyone, _second most shameful_... _You wouldn't! _She yelled to herself, _I would! _Her mind replied right back."I like you." She leaned forward and kissed him softly, it felt like heaven.

Despite the chill in the air he was starting to feel very hot. Ranma had just kissed him, her bare breasts had been pressed against his chest. He reached up to loosen his collar, suddenly a pair of small hands were helping him untie the laces holding his tunic closed. _What is she doing? _He thought, but could make no move to stop her. _Because you don't want her to stop.._. Said the voice in his head. _You thought she was beautiful ever since you learned about her curse._ She trailed her fingers down his sides until she reached his belt, which she tugged off. _Every time you fell for one of her disguises, or tricks, you dared to hope it was real, that your loneliness was at an end.. _He felt her reach under the bottom of his shirt and lift it upwards, he raised his arms to help her. _You want her_. _Yes_, _I want her. _

_What am I doing?_ Ranma wondered as she ran her hands over his defined torso. _What you really wanted to do all those times you teased him, you know his reactions give you a thrill_ her mind replied. He reached out then and ran his larger hands up her sides. _He's responding, he didn't push you away_. She smiled at him, he gave her an awkward grin in return. _He's adorable when he smiles like that, don't you think? _Some part of her mind asked. _Yes_, she replied. Then she kissed him again, passionately this time. _You want him. Yes, I want him_.

It was hours before they finally fell asleep, locked in each other's embrace.

* * *

><p>Pit-pat-pit-pat-pit-pat-pit-pat<p>

_Great, it's raining again... _ was the first thought that ran through Ryoga's mind upon waking. His second thought was more of a realization as he became aware that he had his arms wrapped around the small, warm, -naked- body that was nestled up against him. Well, one hand was wrapped around her, the other was cupping her right breast. That thought caused his fingers to flinch, which the girl definitely seemed to notice. Ryoga opened his eyes to see just what he had done last night (or who, as the case may be)._ Oh no..._

* * *

><p>Pit-pat-pit-pat-pit-pat-pit-pat<p>

_Ugh, it's so cold when it rains... _was the first thought that ran through Ranma's mind upon waking. Her second thought was more of a realization as she became aware of an extremely warm body behind her and snuggled closer to it for the heat. It began to occur to her that it felt an awful lot like a -naked- male body with his arms wrapped around her, one hand resting on her breast. The hand squeezed. Ranma's eyes flew open and she turned to see just what she had done last night (or who, as the case may be). _Oh no..._

* * *

><p>Two screams of sheer horror rang out across the mountainside. Birds fled their nests despite the rain and animals dove for cover. Far away in the Tendo dojo, Akane awoke with a start. An ominous feeling settled over her. <em>I do hope those two are all right...<em>

* * *

><p>Ranma jumped back across the tent and grabbed the first piece of clothing she saw and tugged it over her head. Memories from the previous night were filtering slowly into her mind. Her face paled, then it burned bright red. <em>Oh. My. God. <em>She scrambled from the tent and ran out into the rain. She wasn't sure where she was running or even how far she had gone, she just knew she had to get out of there.

There was a relatively dry spot under a particularly dense crop of trees, she collapsed to her knees under them. The entire evening was playing over and over in her head. The memories had a dream like quality but she knew they were real. _I told him my secret. I slept with Ryoga. More than once. It was good... What the heck is wrong with me? _Out of the corner of her eye she spotted mushrooms growing around the base of the nearby trees. _The mushrooms..._

Ranma relaxed a little bit, reassured that she hadn't gone completely insane. If the mushrooms were to blame she could bury the incident under a nice thick pile of denial. She wasn't prepared to cope with the knowledge that she had enjoyed the previous night's experience _a lot._ She was even less prepared to deal with the thoughts that had filled her mind at the time, that she had unresolved feelings for Ryoga. Nope, it was all the fault of those mushrooms. Denial was bliss.

* * *

><p>Ryoga watched as Ranma fled the tent wearing nothing but his tunic. Memories from the previous night were filtering slowly into his mind. His face paled, then it burned bright red. <em>Oh. My. God. <em>He couldn't blame her for fleeing, if it hadn't been raining so hard he may have done the same. Still in a state of shock he reached for his pack and pulled out some new clothes. Once he was dressed he sat in the centre of the tent staring blankly ahead.

_Ranma told me that as a girl she likes guys, likes me... then she... she... _Ryoga reached up and gripped his hair, he wanted to be angry at her, he really did. _But I didn't stop her. I let it happen. More than once. It was good..._ since he couldn't find it in him to be angry, he defaulted to his other typical state, depression.

_Akari, what have I done? _He had never before thought that he was the type to be unfaithful. Was that really all it took? For one _almost_ girl to strip in front of him, then he'd become some sort of sexual deviant? Imagining how she would feel if she found out was breaking his heart, but he also felt compelled to confess to her. Then she could punish him like he deserved.

_And Akane, how will I ever look her in the eyes again?_ He'd spent two years infatuated with her but had finally accepted her engagement to Ranma, only to turn around and sleep with her fiancee. _I've betrayed her when all she's ever shown to me was kindness._ He slumped over with his head in his hands, heavy chi of depression flowing out of him freely.

* * *

><p>When Ranma made it back to the tent she found it surrounded by an oppressive aura. Just walking through it made breathing difficult. <em>Jeez, if he let this go he could take down the whole mountain... guess he's taking it pretty bad<em>. She approached him cautiously once she entered the tent.

"Relax Ryoga, it's not your fault." She said as she sat next to him. "I think it was the mushrooms. It started right after we ate, and they did look a bit weird. I guess Pops and his map were wrong."

That got a response from him, but not the one she was hoping for. The depressive aura faded, his eye twitched, "So what you are saying," his battle aura flared, "is that this is your fault!" Now this was familiar territory, when something goes wrong, blame Ranma. It had worked for years, he had made Ranma out to be the source of all his life's misery. Hating Ranma would make dealing with this so much easier. He reared back to hit her.

Ranma closed her eyes and braced herself for the impact. If she fought back they'd destroy the tent and then they'd be left in the rain and cold for weeks to come. When nothing happened she opened one eye to see his fist stopped just short of her face.

Ryoga couldn't hit her, seeing her with her eyes screwed shut brought to mind an image of her from the previous night. As much as he wanted to hate her blindly again, he couldn't do it, not after seeing another side of her. It made her too human. He lowered his fist.

"Look, it didn't count because the mushrooms made us do it. We were drugged, right?" She asked, adding more denial to the pile. "So let's pretend it didn't happen, ok?"

"Fine." He said in a flat voice. He wouldn't be able to forget though, of that he was sure. They sat in silence for a a while. He finally broke it to say, "You should put your own clothes on."

She looked down and finally noticed that she was in nothing but his tunic. "Oh! Sorry." She blushed then made an effort to change behind her sleeping bag. For the first time ever, Ranma was feeling the need for some feminine modesty.

* * *

><p>It took two more days for the rain to let up. In that time they'd only eaten a handful of raw eggs. They refused to touch the mushrooms again. They didn't speak much and kept themselves busy practicing what chi control they could in the limited space of the tent.<p>

"Finally!" Ranma exclaimed when she stepped out into the sun. She couldn't stand another minute in that tent with Ryoga's depressive chi. He was trying to keep it reigned in but some of it still escaped and made her feel suffocated. She hoped not being trapped in there would improve his mood.

Ryoga could barely believe that Ranma was standing there in the sun smiling like an idiot. _He really is acting like it didn't happen. How can he not feel any guilt for what he's done to Akane?_

"Stop being such a sourpuss back there. The sun is shining, we're gonna get some food today and we can finally do some real training." She scolded him without even turning around.

The clearing of the weather had brought all the animals out of hiding. Getting breakfast was quick work. Soon they were packed and moving on to the next camp site.

Ryoga was quiet and moody, Ranma was unusually talkative. She kept trying to rope him into random conversions to distract him from all the unnecessary thinking she was sure he was doing. She wasn't very successful.

Half way through the day they emerged from the dense forest and nearly walked right into a sheer rock face. Ranma tried to get him to discuss whether or not he had prior climbing experience. He ignored her and removed the climbing supplies from his pack.

After several hours spent climbing Ryoga found himself completely fed up with her babbling. "Would you just shut up?" He finally roared at her.

"Jeez, I was only trying to help." She snapped back.

"How is drivng me crazy with your annoying chatter supposed to help?" He yelled.

"Because I know you. You are thinking too much. You're making yourself more depressed with each passing minute and beating yourself up about it won't do either of us any good. I was just trying ta get you to think about something else for a while." She was getting mad now.

"Well stop." He said, then started climbing faster.

Ranma sighed and sped up to keep pace with him. _Maybe I went too far._ She decided to just try and act normal and hope he'd come around. Even if Ryoga didn't agree, she thought he was her best friend (Uuchan would have held this spot were it not for being one of her crazy fiancees and therefore always plotting against her) and she didn't want to lose that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Magic and Mushrooms ch3**

It took Ryoga several days of mulling over his feelings (not wallowing in despair, as Ranma had called it) to figure out what he was going to do. He was going to confess his crimes to Akari, he owed her that much. She could punish him as she saw fit, it was no less than he deserved, no matter what Ranma said.

He would not tell Akane however (at least not right away), that responsibly laid with Ranma. Perhaps if Ranma took her to the alter without confessing he'd be forced to say something, but until then, he'd keep his mouth shut.

Speaking of Ranma, she'd started acting normal again. True to her word she was pretending nothing had happened. He had been worried at first, after the secret she had revealed _that_ night. He wondered if she had really meant it when she said that she had feelings for him. Thankfully that appeared to not be the case. He didn't know if he could handle that.

Knowing what he was going to do was a load off his mind. His attitude had improved and he was almost behaving normally with Ranma, not entirely, but it was close. He was avoiding any situation where he might see her undressed and couldn't get too close to her. He'd considered asking her to turn back into a guy, that would make things so much easier, but that would be admitting defeat. That he couldn't cope with the situation when Ranma seemed to be taking it all just fine. No, he'd just put up with her for now.

* * *

><p>Ranma was glad that Ryoga had lightened up in the last few days. She hoped this was a sign that they could be friends like before. She'd been avoiding being topless in his presence, and warning him before she changed so that he had time to leave the tent. She'd never considered how her nudity affected people before, but after <em>that<em> night, she couldn't not think about it.

Ryoga wouldn't let her get too close to him, which would have been helpful during their chi training. She'd never known that contact would allow her to feel someone else's chi flow before. She'd touched other martial artists before and had never seen their chi, there must have been a trick to it, but she didn't know what that was. Ryoga was much further along in his directional control, she really would have liked to have a closer look at what he was doing. She'd considered turning back into a guy, it might make him comfortable enough to let her check his technique. But she felt like that would be admitting defeat somehow.

She'd started this trip determined to better her girl side. She was sure that all the trekking, climbing and heavy carrying was doing her some good. It was the basic sort of training that she always did as a guy but neglected entirely as a girl. No, she would keep going as she was. It was a matter of pride really.

* * *

><p>Their next destination was a cabin that Soun and Genma had built their youth. The cabin should, according to the two adults, still contain all their old winter gear. Which was good, because Ranma and Ryoga hadn't had room in their packs to bring anything beyond mittens and hats. There should be parkas, ski pants, snowshoes, cross country skis, ski poles, and an ice axe.<p>

There was a chill in the air now that they were getting higher into the mountain. The trees were further apart and allowed more wind through.

"It should be just around that bend." Ranma pointed toward a rocky outcrop.

It would be nice to not sleep in a tent for a night or two. Just thinking about being indoors with a fire was making her feel warm... Until they rounded the bend.

There was no cabin.

"There's nothing here." Ryoga helpfully (not) pointed out.

Ranma's brow furrowed as she checked the map, she had been sure this was the place. She traced the trail with her finger, trying to see if they'd taken a wrong turn.

"Let me see that." The map suddenly disappeared from her hands.

"Hey! Give that back! You'd get us lost in under ten seconds." She snatched it back quickly.

He narrowed his eyes at her, but didn't retort. It was true, that didn't mean he liked being reminded though.

"Huh." Ranma said, looking the map again she was certain now that they'd taken a wrong turn.

"We're gonna have to backtrack a bit, I must have read it wrong. We should be further east." She said. _I really thought this was the place..._

The two teens headed back the way they came, neither seeing the sign post that read:

**-To the owner of cabin-**

**-Do not build on public land-**

**-We have demolished the structure-**

**-Signed, park ranger-**

* * *

><p>After a few hours of backtracking, the weather suddenly changed, it warmed considerably. Ranma noted with some concern that the trees along the trail looked to be of a different variety than they had been earlier. Ranma decided that the heat was getting to her, she was considering switching out her shirt for one with short sleeves, when she heard a slight rustling in the bushes. She looked at Ryoga, he nodded, he'd heard it too.<p>

Ryoga pulled out his umbrella, wild boars and bulls were something the wanderer was used to. He prepared himself for the charge that was sure to come._ There! _Something was moving swiftly through the underbrush, it jumped out looking hungry and fierce.

"Aaaaaaayyyeeeeeeaaaahhhhhh!"

He found himself unable to take any action against the beast, for the moment she saw it Ranma had leapt into his arms. She clung to his neck, digging her nails in so hard that Ryoga was sure she must have drawn blood.

He dodged to the side as the creature's teeth closed on the spot his leg had occupied a split second earlier. "Ranma, what the hell are you doing?"

"C-c-c-cat!" She buried her face in his tunic and trembled in fear.

He tried to swing his umbrella at the tiger, but he couldn't get enough momentum with Ranma in his arms. "Dammit, I can't fight it unless you get down." She shook her head adamantly, she wasn't getting down. Not no way, not no how.

He dodged again as the cat pounced. "Ugh." If you can't fight, flee, he decided. Holding Ranma tight, he turned and fled. The feline was fast though, outrunning it would not be easy. He took to the trees instead, leaping from branch to branch. The cat kept pace with him, waiting for him to make a mistake and fall. She didn't have to wait long.

One of the branches just wasn't solid enough to hold the weight of Ryoga, Ranma and their two packs, it cracked and deposited them both on the forest floor. The tiger leapt in for the kill while Ryoga struggled to get Ranma off of him.

-Bang-

The tigress changed trajectory mid leap and ran off in the opposite direction after hearing the gunshot.

"Are you ok?" Asked a man as he slung a rifle over his shoulder. He was speaking English in an accent unfamiliar to Ryoga. This didn't phase him in the slightest, he was used to meeting people that didn't speak Japanese.

"Yes, ok." He replied. "Thank you."

"You two must have gotten too close to her den. She's usually not so aggressive, but she gave birth recently. It's made her defensive." The man explained. "I'll show you out of her territory."

Ryoga didn't understand half of what the guy said, But it was enough. "Ranma, get off. This guy wants us to follow him." She refused to budge, she was still reeling from the effects of her cat induced panic attack. He rolled his eyes and carried her as he followed the foreigner.

"So how long have you been visiting India?" The man asked as they walked along.

"Excuse me?" Ryoga was sure he must have heard that wrong.

"India, how long have you been here?" The man tried again.

"Ranma, I think we have a problem." It was no good, she was still near catatonic.

* * *

><p>"Did ya find the cabin?" Ranma asked when she woke up somewhere warm and saw Ryoga sitting next to her.<p>

"No, this is the ranger's station." He responded.

"What? Why are we here? What about finding the cabin?" She sat up and looked around. She had been sleeping on a sofa in a cozy sitting room.

"We're not going to find it. We aren't on the mountain anymore." He braced himself, she wasn't going to take this well. "We're in India"

Her eyes grew wide, then narrowed. "What did you do?"

"Nothing! When the tiger attacked us, we were already here!" He insisted. _This wasn't my fault!_

"Ryoga, you are the only person I know that can cross continents accidentally, and without swimming. You must have done something." _Of course it's his fault!_

"I was following you. You had the map." _Enough said._

"The map..." She thought back, "you touched it!"

"So?" _It's not like I damaged it..._

"You contaminated it!" She decided, "With your bad sense of direction!"

"That's impossible." _I think..._

Ranma saw her pack sitting next to the couch and pulled out the map. "I knew something seemed strange, I had been so sure we weren't off course. This isn't the same map."

"Let me see." Once again the map was ripped from her grasp.

"It looks the same to me." _She's crazy, just trying to shove the blame onto someone else._

"Stop touching it!" She snatched it back and inspected every inch of it. It looked the same, and yet... _no, that's silly, he can't really screw up a map by touching it. Even if it is Ryoga. _"So, what do we do now?"

"We could call your dad and tell him, but then we'll be admitting that we failed. I say we walk." Ryoga said with a surprising amount of confidence.

"Walk? To Japan? Are you an idiot?" She nearly shouted at him.

"We walked here. This isn't even my first time on another continent and I got home alright before." He shrugged, being unbelievably lost was the story of his life.

"How do we even know which way ta go?" She asked, barely able to believe she was going to go along with him.

"Let's follow the map."

"This is a map of Japan, stupid!"

He just shrugged.

Ryoga got up to find the ranger, to let him know they'd be leaving. He stopped at the door to the next room, presumably his office. He was talking to someone.

"-could be poachers."

"Keep them here until you arrive."

"-arrest them-"

He turned back to Ranma, "We have to go, I think the police are coming to see if we were hunting tigers."

The two quickly grabbed their packs and ran off into the woods.

* * *

><p>The ranger came back into the sitting room to find it empty. "Where could they have gone?"<p>

"Oh well." He shrugged, he had bigger problems to deal with. He walked into a back room that contained two men in a cell and waited for the police to collect the potential poachers he'd found in the park with hunting gear. Keeping tigers safe, not teenagers, was his job.

* * *

><p><em>This is ridiculous! <em>Ranma thought as she pulled out the map. Oddly, she was able to find a location on it that matched the geography nearby. _Weird_. The location of their next camp site was still marked though, so however nutty she thought Ryoga's idea was, she lead the way.

Regardless of the map having been for a mountain in Japan, it led them to a clearing near a river that seemed identical to the one on the map. As they sat near the fire cooking fish that she'd caught in the river, she wondered if this was some elaborate joke being played on her by her father. Genma was a strange man, she wouldn't put it past him to play a trick on her, she just couldn't think of a reason why he would. She dismissed the idea, her father was both too stupid and too lazy to come up with something like this just for a gag.

The next day when she felt the weather change she paid greater attention to her surroundings. She noted this time that the trees were of a different variety than they had been just minutes before, yet somehow the shift had happened in just such a way that if she hadn't been looking for it, she wouldn't have noticed. "Where do ya think we are?"

"Dunno, what makes you think we even left yet?" He asked, nothing looked any different to him.

"The temperature changed, it's cloudy now, it was sunny. The trees are different too, they had leaves before, now they have needles."

"I guess they do. I hadn't noticed." He said as he looked around.

"Is this how it always feels when you travel? Are ya always somewhere else suddenly as if by magic?" She asked.

"I didn't know that it happened until now, I just thought I was lost. Maybe." He thought it over, "Ah. There was this one time I found myself on a yacht and I had no idea how i got there." He smiled at the memory, wondering how he didn't see the strangeness of it at the time.

Ranma laughed, that was pretty funny.

* * *

><p>Camping in these woods was rather peaceful. There was lots of small game, fresh water everywhere, and nothing had even attacked them yet. The worst thing to happen so far had been a stare down between the two youths and a large raccoon over food that they'd left out.<p>

Of course trouble would find them, it was only a matter of time.

It came one day as they were filling their canteens by a lake. A humongous grizzly bear stepped out of the trees with her two young cubs in tow.

The humans stared at the bear.

The bear stared at the humans.

Suddenly she growled fiercely and lunged for the pair, each dodged in a different direction. She sniffed the air for a moment before deciding to attack Ryoga, who was now a wet, scared pig. He had landed in the lake when he'd jumped aside.

_Curse my luck! _He thought, it came out as, "Squee!"

Ranma's eyes were wide as the bear charged at her companion. _Is that a battle aura? _There was a halo of energy surrounding the bear, it was burning and angry. Ryoga dodged and ducked and weaved. This was no ordinary bear. It was fast, too fast. _What the heck are they feeding the bears around here?_

Ranma jumped into the air and delivered a swift kick to the bears neck. She had used just enough force, or so she thought, to render the bear unconscious. The bear however only seemed angered, it turned at lightning speed and clawed at the threat. Ranma tried to dodge but she was a split second too late. The bear's claws ripped through her arm. She could feel the burning chi flow through her body from the wound. It felt like her blood was boiling. She screamed in pain, not even noticing when Ryoga knocked the bear out from behind by throwing his heavy umbrella at its head. He'd apparently had his thermos close at hand, er, foot

He helped her to the water to clean her injury. The cool water brought her immediate relief from the burning chi. The gashes were deep and bleeding profusely. He rummaged through his pack until he found a roll of bandages and began patching her up. "We should try to find a town, this could get infected without treatment."

She nodded and pulled out the map. It did appear that there could be a village not too far off. Ranma lead the way.

* * *

><p>"What on earth happened to her?" A shocked woman exclaimed. It was English again, but a different accent.<p>

They had found a small village and Ryoga had approached the first person he saw, an older woman hanging clothes it to dry.

Ryoga couldn't remember the English word for attack, so he made a claw motion with his hand and said, "Bear."

"Oh dear!" The woman ushered the pair into a rusty old pick up truck and drove a few minutes to a small clinic.

The doctor seemed friendly, but Ranma couldn't understand him well. She cursed her lack of attention in school. She needed stitches to close the wounds, which hurt, but not nearly as bad as whatever disinfectant he'd poured on her arm.

* * *

><p>"They're just silly old legends of course." The receptionist was talking to Ryoga as Ranma left the doctors office.<p>

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"I'll live." She replied.

Ryoga got up to go. "Hey wait." Ranma said, "Do we gotta pay them?"

He shook his head, "I took care if it."

Her eyes narrowed, "I can take care of things like that myself."_ I'm not some girl that needs his charity._

"It didn't cost much, don't worry about it." He tried again to leave.

"I'll pay you back." She insisted.

"Fine, whatever. Let's just go." He did leave the clinic this time, Ranma followed. _She was the one that wanted to be friends, now I can't even help her out? _He sighed.

"So, what were ya talkin' about with the girl in there?" Ranma asked as they walked down the street.

"Oh, there's a legend here that a monster lives in that lake. Kinda like the Loch Ness, but it's called Ogopogo. She thought we were tourists here to see it. We're in Canada by the way." He explained.

"Huh, a few years ago I would have said a lake monster was a crazy idea, but that trip to Ryugenzawa really changed my mind." She hoped she wouldn't be fighting any multi-headed creatures today. They headed away from the lake, just in case.

* * *

><p>In a deep underwater cave, a sea serpent slept, coiled around itself. A bioluminescent glow filled the cave, emanating from the creatures scales. The creature had no idea that it was having a magical effect upon the lake in which it dwelt. Locals often spoke of animals that seemed much too clever or much too strong, but no one really believed. It was just a silly legend to attract tourists after all.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

**Magic and Mushrooms Ch4**

The map was spread out on the ground in front of them, they both studied it intently. "Ok, touch it now."

Ryoga did as he was told and placed one hand on the map. _Whoa, that's never happened before!_

Both sets of eyes opened wide. The map was rearranging itself before them. It was a subtle shift, trails and roads moving only millimeters at a time here and there, but it changed all the same. "It worked. You really did contaminate it."

_I wonder if it's getting worse... _Ryoga was no stranger to being abysmally lost but he'd never seen anything like this before.

"Let's go!" Ranma said eagerly. There was a certain thrill that came with not knowing where you'd end up.

* * *

><p>"You must've noticed it this time." Ranma commented to Ryoga.<p>

He looked around, "Er..."

"Come on! We were in a forest Ryoga, a forest." This was unbelievable.

"I know, I just thought we walked out if it." He replied. It had seemed to him that one location blended seamlessly into the next.

"We're in the savanna! It's scorching hot and as dry as Akane's rice! How could this possibly be connected to that forest?" She asked incredulously.

If he thought about it logically, if course she was right, there was no way a normal person would have believed the two to be side by side. He was no normal person however, and he knew it. There was a good reason that he couldn't differentiate, he wasn't going to tell Ranma that though. So he settled for shrugging in response to her question.

"There's zebras!" She pointed across the vast open space where the black and white creatures mingled with a herd of gazelles. Choosing to metaphorically kick a dead horse, she continued, "Zebras live in Africa, we were in North America." The movement of his shoulders was again his only reply, it was starting to tick Ranma off. "What the hell? Are ya trying ta piss me off?"

He opened his mouth to reply but the sound of hundreds of hoof beats suddenly got his attention. "I think we should run." All the animals, zebras and gazelles alike, were stampeding toward them. They turned to flee the oncoming rush of animals only to come face to face with a lion. Ryoga intended to leap over it and run, but when were things ever that easy? Instead he felt the uncomfortably familiar weight clinging to him yet again.

"C-c-cat..."

"Aw, come on!" Ryoga wailed miserably, wondering if he'd angered some vengeful deity. He turned to run to the right but another lion was fast approaching. _Left it is then..._

As he ran further and further it seemed as though more lions were turning away from the herd to chase what they perceived to be weak humans. He kept having to change direction to avoid the newcomers. He didn't notice until it was too late that they had herded him up against two sheer rock faces. They were cornered. He tried in vain to put Ranma down so he'd stand a chance fighting them, but she may as well have been super glued to him.

One of the lions leapt at them then. _Damn it, think of something!_ He scolded himself.

"Mreeeeeoooooooow!"

Ranma dislodged herself and in the blink of an eye was scratching wildly at the charging lion. It only took a few seconds for her to utterly defeat the animal. She let out another cat-like noise, which the remaining lions seemed to take as a challenge. They all dashed towards her at once, she rose to the occasion, hissing and spitting as she leapt into the fray. They rolled around throwing up a cloud of dust for several moments before Ranma pounced out victorious. She sat upon her defeated foes and glanced around for another fight, her eyes locked on Ryoga.

_Crap! _"Uh, nice kitty?" He offered. At first he thought it hadn't worked as she pounced at him, but he was thoroughly surprised when she knocked him over and curled up in his lap. "Uh..." He didn't know what to do or say, if he yelled or knocked her off she might go all catfu on him. She started purring and he wondered how that even worked since she wasn't actually a cat. _That's actually kind of adorable._ He thought, before shaking his head and scolding himself, _Don't be stupid, it's Ranma... _

Ranma shifted in his lap and looked up at him. _Is she normal now? _The answer, he discovered, was a resounding no, as she sat up and pecked him affectionately in the lips. Ryoga froze like a deer caught in headlights, his mind blanking out.

Ranma blinked, feeling disoriented. Wide eyes started blankly at her, it was then that she realized her lips were pressed against someone else's.

"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!"

She punched said person in the face.

* * *

><p>"This place sucks. Everything wants to eat us and we're running out of water fast." Ranma complained, "Touch the map and see if you can get us lost somewhere else."<p>

He grumbled as he snatched it out of her hand.

"Aw, stop bein' so grumpy. I apologized." She did feel kinda bad for giving him a black eye.

"No, what you said was that you were sorry I bruise easily." He glared at her.

"Well, ya shouldn't have let your guard down." She retorted.

He rolled his eyes. After several minutes he said, "The map didn't change."

Ranma pulled the map back from his grasp. _It does look the same..._ "Try again."

He touched it and both watched, waiting. Nothing happened. "Maybe we haven't gone far enough from where we started?" He guessed.

"You don't have any idea how ya do it?" She asked.

"I told you, it's never happened before. Normally when I get this lost it takes weeks." He answered,

"Whatever, let's just find some food and water." Her stomach grumbled.

* * *

><p>The pair of martial artists were fast, strong and skilled. That made hunting easy, water was the problem. Ryoga knew a survival trick to distill water from the ground, using his plastic emergency blanket to cover a hole dug in the ground with a cup in the middle. This was keeping them alive, but barely. It was slow and not nearly enough. A watering hole was marked on the map, but it was a long journey. If they just walked they couldn't collect their distilled water. So they made only a little progress each day.<p>

They couldn't get the map to change again. Neither had any idea why it had stopped working.

It seemed to take forever to reach the watering hole, but finally they made it. "Gross!" _Muck hole is more like it, _Ranma thought.

"We'll have to boil that." The water was disgusting to behold, but it was the best they were going to get out here. After gathering what little wood they could find Ryoga realised that they were out of tinder. "Damn, should have gathered some dead grass on the way, everything here is too green."

"We could rip the corners off the map, it doesn't go to the edges anyway." Ranma suggested.

"It'll do." He replied as she pulled the map back out.

Just as she was about rip to the paper a voice yelled, "STOP!" They both blinked in surprise and looked around. There didn't seem to be anybody here.

"Show yourself!" Ranma called out.

"Down here." The voice answered.

Both fighters looked down and saw nothing. "Uh..."

"In your hands you idiot!" The voice cried.

The only thing Ranma was holding was the map. She looked at it, it seemed the same as ever. _Where's that voice coming from? _She wondered as she flipped the map over in her hand. _How did I not see that before?_

There, on the reverse side of the paper was a moving sketch of a beautiful woman in her undergarments. Ryoga looked away, the drawing made him uncomfortable. Ranma couldn't care less what she was wearing, "Was that you talkin' to us?"

The woman nodded, "You mustn't burn my parchment."

"So this is your map? Was it you getting us lost all over the place?" Ranma asked angrily.

"Just a harmless practical joke. No harm done... right?" The drawing asked.

"Ha! I knew it wasn't my curse!" Ryoga yelled out.

"What curse?" Ranma asked him, suspecting he didn't mean the one from Jusenkyo.

"Nevermind that." He tried to look at the parchment without looking at the girl. "How did you move us around, and why?"

"Hmph!" She looked at Ranma, choosing to answer the second question. "She is a disciple of that rotten old man that trapped me in this accursed parchment. To add insult to injury, her father doodled all over it. The indignity! I just wanted a little revenge..."

Ranma's eye twitched, "Tell me why I shouldn't rip you to shreds right now."

"I can send you home! I was a powerful fox spirit once, I still retain some of my magic! Just don't damage my parchment!" She begged.

"Fine, then send us home, now." Ranma demanded.

"Well, I can't _right now_." She stated. Ranma tore the edge of the paper, "No! Wait! It's just that I can only use my magic three times per month! My magic will be restored on the full moon." Ranma seemed satisfied and relaxed her grip on the paper. "Just promise you won't return me to that perverted old man!" Ranma nodded.

Ryoga had a question for the girl, "Why," he asked, "did you only change the map when I touched it?"

"Oh, the short haired girl implied that you would encounter lions, tigers and bears if you were to hold the map. I thought to avoid detection by leading you to believe that you were the cause." She laughed, "That was fun."

_She was just toying with us... _Ryoga was tempted to use her for tinder regardless of her ability to get them home.

* * *

><p>Now that the pair knew that they could easily return home they began to train their chi again. There had been so much going on that they'd fallen behind. They stayed near the filthy watering hole, catching dinner when animals came by for a drink. They had been forced to wander far and wide for wood and grass to build fires though.<p>

The relative peace gave them some time to reflect on the various events of the trip.

Ryoga was both looking forward to and not looking forward to the end if this trip. Of course he was sick of the savanna, but he was still burdened by guilt and was planning to visit Akari as soon as they checked in at the dojo. He also was really not looking forward to seeing Ranma return to male form. While they didn't speak of it,_that_ night was never far from his mind. Getting along with Ranma as a rather cute, albeit often irritating girl was easy. Looking into his rival's eyes once he was male again would be humiliating and a little painful. He figured that some time wandering alone would do him good, he needed to move on.

Ranma was both looking forward to and not looking forward to the end of this trip. Of course she was sick of the Savanna, but her annoying mess of a life was waiting for her back home. Insane fiancees, even crazier suitors, the old letch, her irresponsible father, new and ridiculous threats that only she ever seemed able to deal with, Akane... She felt a pang of guilt, but repressed it. It wasn't her fault as far as she was concerned. She felt a sadness when she thought about returning, she'd gotten used to Ryoga's presence. The thought of the young nomad wandering off again caused a constricted feeling in her chest. She assumed it was because she'd miss her friend.

* * *

><p>Akane was practicing her kata in the dojo when she heard the commotion. Soun and Genma seemed excited about something. When she heard Ranma's voice she quickly ran out to the yard. "Ranma, Ryoga, you're back!"<p>

"Hey Akane." Ranma greeted her casually.

Ryoga wouldn't meet her eyes, "He-hello." He wondered, not for the first time, if Ranma felt no guilt or if she was just very good at hiding it.

"Will you be joining us for dinner?" Asked Kasumi, who had just poked her head outside.

"No," Ryoga shook his head, "I have to go."

"You just got back, where are you planning to go?" Akane asked him.

"I have to see Akari." He would not enjoy that visit.

No one noticed Ranma's hands balling into fists as she spoke. "Well you better go then, wouldn't want to keep _Akari_ waiting."

"Ranma!" Akane yelled. "Don't tease Ryoga like that. I think it's sweet that he wants to see her right away."

"Yes, a boy itching to see his fiancee after a long trip from home, it warms the heart doesn't it, Tendo?" Genma asked.

"Indeed it does, Saotome. If only Ranma here would show such enthusiasm." Soun replied.

"Yeah yeah," she waved her hand absently, "whatever, I need a bath." Then she trotted off into the house.

"I should go..." Ryoga was getting an uncomfortable feeling from Ranma's little outburst. _All the more reason to go away for a while..._

Ranma washed up while the bath water poured. _Ugh, why did I flip out like that?_ She wondered. _It's not like I care what Ryoga does or who he goes to visit_. She stepped into the water.

* * *

><p>"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!"<p>

* * *

><p>The whole Tendo family appeared in the bathroom door.<p>

"Ranma, what..." Akane started.

"Eeyaa!" Ranma cried as she grabbed a towel and covered her chest.

"We apologize." Soun and Genma said in unison as they averted their eyes and backed away.

Akane was in too much shock at seeing Ranma's female form sitting in the hot water to notice this new found modesty. "Ranma, your a girl."

"Oh my!" Said Kasumi (because really, what else does she ever say?)

"Hmm, this is interesting." Nabiki said as a camera flash went off in her hand.

"Nabiki, stop it. This is serious." Akane scolded.

Ranma was just sitting there looking down at herself in a state of shock and utter disbelief.

"Come on Ranma," Akane said as she grabbed a dry towel. "Let's get you out of there and we'll go see doctor Tofu."

Ranma nodded weakly and stood on shaky legs. Akane wrapped the towel over her shoulders and helped her out of the tub.

* * *

><p>"Hmm... Hmm..." Dr. Tofu said as he examined Ranma. "I have some ideas, but I really need to talk to Ranma privately. Akane, would you mind waiting outside?"<p>

"No problem." She went without a fuss.

"What is it doc? Is it bad? How bad is it?" Ranma asked nervously.

"Slow down. We'll get to that. First, tell me about your training trip." Tofu said calmly.

Ranma told him everything, except what happened _that_ night.

"No, none of that explains this condition." He replied. "You said you were a girl the whole time?"

"Yeah, since just after we left the Tendo's." She answered.

"What's the longest you've ever been a girl before then?" Tofu probed.

"Almost a month, when the Old Ghoul hit me with that Full Body Cat's Tongue and about the same with the locking ladle. Is that what's wrong? I spent too much time as a girl? Is there a cure?" She was panicking now.

"No Ranma, that's not it. This is difficult to ask," he hesitated, "but Ranma, while you were on your trip... were you, uh..." He whispered the next bit, "intimate, with a boy?"

Ranma paled visibly, her mouth went dry and she couldn't form words. She opened and closed her mouth several times with no sound coming out. Instead, she nodded. _How does he know..._

"You weren't forced were you?" He asked seriously.

Her pride bristled, "As if he could." She snorted. "It was all the fault of those damned mushrooms!"

"Mushrooms?" Tofu asked.

Ranma explained what had happened and what the mushrooms looked like, leaving out the more personal details.

Tofu pulled a book off his shelf and flipped it open. "These?" He was pointing at a picture of the very mushrooms she had described.

"Yeah, that's them." She tried to read the description but Tofu closed the book after sliding a piece of paper into the correct page.

"I'll let you borrow it." Now that he knew a bit more about what had happened and why, he asked, "Ranma, do you know anything about girls' menstrual cycles?"

Ranma shook her head, making a disgusted face. _And I don't want to know... _

"Well, a girl's cycle is typically around a month long. I suspect that every time you change into a girl you start at day one. About half way through she becomes fertile..." He trailed off a bit here.

_He's not saying...?_

"If conception does not occur, she'll go on to get her period in the first week of the next cycle. You were a girl for two months, but that didn't happen, did it?" He asked gently.

Ranma shook her head, not liking where this was going one bit.

"Ranma, I need you to provide a urine sample." He handed her a cup and shooed her into the washroom. _Oh dear... _He thought to himself.

Ranma came back a few minutes later with the now full cup in hand. Tofu stuck a plastic stick in it and looked at his watch. He seemed to be making a point of not looking Ranma in the eye. Two minutes later he pulled it out and looked at it with a sad sigh.

"I'm sorry Ranma, you're..." He took a deep breath, "you're pregnant."

"Good one doc." She said, "what's it really?"

He just looked at her sympathetically. _He's not joking. _Ranma's world shattered.

"That's not possible, I'm a guy!" She was certain there had to be a mistake.

"You were a girl at the time, and remain to be one even now." He reminded her.

"So, how do I fix it?" She asked desperately.

"You can't. I don't know if it's a safeguard in the curse, or merely the pregnancy hormones, but you will remain a girl at least until you give birth. Possibly longer if you breastfeed the baby." Tofu realized he'd said too much and scared the boy.

"B-b-b-baby? Breastfeed? I'm a guy! I can't have a baby! This is crazy! You're lying! This had got to be some sort of joke! Who put you up to this? Was it Nabiki? It wasn't the crazy girl in the map was it? I can't be... can't be..." her hysterical rant ended in a mournful wail. Dr. Tofu patted her shoulder.

When she finally calmed down she asked, "What am I supposed to do now?"

"Well you should really be taking a multivitamin." He rummaged through a cupboard and handed her a pill bottle. "I'd normally suggest an ob/gyn but in your case I'm going to recommend you see a friend if mine. She's a midwife, well practiced in Chinese medicine and martial arts. If the curse causes any side effects, she'll be the most knowledgeable." He handed her a business card. "I will let you inform the Tendo's yourself, but I do suggest you don't keep it from them for too long. Dragging it out will only make it harder in the long run."

Ranma nodded and left Tofu's office in a daze.

"So? What did you find out?" Akane asked.

"I-I don't want to talk about it right now Akane." Ranma took off running.

Akane, annoyed and wanting answers, went into the clinic. "Dr. Tofu? What happened to Ranma?"

"I'm sorry Akane, I can't tell you that. Ranma will tell you herself when she's ready. Please be patient with her, it was very upsetting news and she may need time to adjust before she's comfortable discussing it." Tofu advised. He didn't want Akane getting violent with Ranma given the state she was in.

_Oh, no, it must be serious._ "Yes Dr. Tofu, I will." She promised.


	5. Chapter 5

**Magic and Mushrooms ch5**

Ranma stared into the starry night sky. She was laying on the roof of the Tendo dojo, the borrowed book laying open beside her. She had read and re-read the section on the mushrooms but still couldn't accept what it had to say. There had to be a mistake, maybe the ones she ate just looked like these...

She sat up and studied the picture. It was no good, she was certain that these were the same ones. "Dammit!" She cried as she slammed the book closed. Her carefully constructed denial pile had been washed away and now everything she didn't want to confront was staring her in the face. Every thought she had had _that_ night was playing through her mind, taunting her and generally making a mess of everything she had ever believed about herself.

The truth was right there in the pages of that infernal book. The mushrooms didn't make you a sex crazed deviant as she had previously assumed. No, it was so much worse. They strengthened your subconscious mind, allowing you to find your deepest, most secret desires, even ones you hid from yourself and eased your inhibitions long enough to act upon them. This could have mild or devastating consequences. They could bolster your courage and allow you to confess to your heart's desire or they could free a person's most violent fantasies, allowing him to kill without fear of the consequences.

Ranma supposed it was a good thing that she hadn't gone on a killing spree. No, what she had found was that, she, Ranma Saotome, self proclaimed man among men, had a crush on and was sexually attracted to her best _male_ friend. At least while in the body of a girl, but there was no escaping that body now. _Because I'm... _She couldn't even think the word. _Dammit! Why couldn't I have just been a guy at the time? _

"Why does weird stuff always happen to me?" She wailed in frustration.

"You do have a knack for getting into trouble." Ranma jumped back, startled. She hadn't expected a reply.

"Akane! What'd ya sneak up on me for?" She asked as she righted herself.

"I'd hardly call it sneaking. It's not my fault that you were spacing out." She replied as she took a seat beside Ranma.

"I wasn't spacin' out. I was just thinkin'."

"Whatever you say Ranma. Do you want to talk about it?" Akane asked.

"No."

"Well if you change your mind, I'm here for you." Akane really wanted to know what was going on, but she had promised Dr. Tofu that she wouldn't pry too much.

Ranma only made a grunting noise in response.

"So, you got back just in time, school starts tomorrow." Akane tried to change the subject.

"Like I care about..." She trailed off. "I can't go like this! I'm a girl!" She whined.

"So? Everyone at school knows about the curse already. It should be no big deal." Akane really didn't think anyone would care, well except Kuno.

"Of course it's a big deal. I could change back before!" _And you're gonna get big soon,_ her mind supplied. "Aaahhhh! I hadn't even considered that!" She screeched out loud as she tugged at her hair.

"Considered what?" Akane was disturbed by Ranma's outburst, she was usually more collected than this.

"Nothin', I gotta go." She answered, then leapt off the roof.

Akane huffed angrily. _How am I supposed to help him if he won't tell me what's going on?_ She noticed then the book Ranma had left behind. _What's this?_ She wondered as she took it back to her room.

* * *

><p>Ranma was sitting quietly in the room she shared with her father, he was still downstairs with Mr Tendo, probably playing shogi.<p>

_I don't feel any different, if I really am,_ Her mind skipped over the word, thinking it would make it feel too real, _wouldn't I feel it or something? _She searched her mind for everything she knew about the subject. It wasn't much. First came sex, _check_, she sighed internally. After that the women on tv often threw up a lot, _none of that so far... _their bellies blew up like balloons. _My figure!_ Her mind screamed. _Not what's important right now!_ Another part of her mind yelled back. The last step seemed to be cursing and screaming in a hospital bed whilst crushing the hand of the man responsible. _Ryoga_...

She had been able to admit to herself, in her own head, that she had a crush on him, _sometimes_. That didn't mean she wanted a -shudder- relationship with him though. Her pride as a male, while tattered, wouldn't allow it. _Like that's your biggest problem right now... _besides he was happy with Akari, _a real girl. Me? I'm just some freak of nature!_

Ranma really wished she could make this all just go away. She rolled onto her side and saw the pack that she had yet to unpack. _I wonder... _The sketched woman was right where she'd left her. "Hey, can you only transport people with your magic, or can ya do other stuff?"

"I can, but please don't ask me to find panties." She replied.

"Why the heck would I want panties?" Ranma struggled not to yell, she didn't want anyone to get curious about what she was doing.

"That has been what I've done for over sixty years. Month after month that disgusting old man used my magic to track down the most delicate and dainty of panties to add to his collection." She said sadly, "Look, he even drew me in underwear!"

"He drew you? I thought you said that you were a fox spirit?" Ranma asked curiously.

"I was once, but he sketched me using a magical pencil. It trapped my soul within this parchment." She answered.

Ranma decided that sucked, but she had get this conversation back on track. "So, with your magic... could you turn me into a boy?"

The sketch shook her head, "No, the power of your curse is stronger than my magic. Even before my imprisonment I doubt I could have helped you."

_Damn_... Ranma tried to look at the problem from a different angle. "I'm... could you get rid of... I don't wanna be..." Since she couldn't even think the word, saying it was impossible.

The sketch seemed to know what she was asking though, even though Ranma hadn't told her what was going on. "I cannot meddle in the magic of life and death, nor in affairs of the heart."

"Useless..." Ranma muttered as she shoved the parchment into the drawer where she kept her boxers. The Old Freak wouldn't find her there.

* * *

><p>Akane had read and re-read the section of the book that was marked. <em>Shows you your secret subconscious desires and allows you to act on them? Ranma! Did you discover that deep down you wanted to be a girl and you found a way to do it?<em> Akane gave it some thought.

Ranma did spend an awful lot of time as a girl. He enjoyed eating ice cream parfaits and other girly treats. He liked talking vendors into giving him free food, going so far as to hit on them. He'd even accepted a date with a guy once for free coffee! He dressed up as a girl to play tricks on boys and accepted martial arts challenges as a girl frequently. He was also vain, he touted his beauty constantly and fought to defend it once when called ugly.

_That's it, Ranma wanted to be a woman, but his stubborn pride is fighting with his decision_ (Swing and a miss). Akane wasn't sure how to deal with this revelation. Ranma was supposed to be a guy and her fiancée. Deep in her heart she knew she liked him, maybe even loved him, he just made her so mad sometimes. She had taken for granted that they would marry one day. She couldn't decide if she should be mad at Ranma for doing this to her, sad that she'd lost a fiancée, sympathetic toward Ranma who would no longer be living a lie, or happy that she could have the friend she thought she'd found in Ranma when they first met. She had a lot to think about that night as she laid in bed.

Ranma woke up to a terrible smell, something was burning, or rotting, or burning _and _rotting_._ Her stomach heaved. "Urrg." She dressed and slowly made her way downstairs. The smell was getting stronger with every step she took, her stomach was practically doing somersaults.

"Ranma, you're up! I made you breakfast." Akane thrust a plate of something unidentifiable under her nose.

"Uuuurh..." Ranma turned and ran to the washroom, knocking Nabiki out of her way. She made it to the toilet just in time, there wasn't much in her stomach but it came out anyway.

"Tried Akane's cooking did you?" Nabiki asked.

"Hey!" Akane yelled at her sister. "He- she didn't even try it yet, it's not my fault. He- she must be sick." She grabbed a washcloth and handed it to Ranma to clean up. "Come on, let's get you back to bed."

Ranma shook her head, "Outside, fresh air..."

"Sure, whatever you want." Akane held her and guided her into the back yard. "Better now?"

Ranma nodded.

"Good." Akane stood, "So, do you want the food I made now? To get your strength back?"

"No!" She flailed her arms in front of her.

Akane narrowed her eyes, "What was that?" One eye twitched.

Ranma realised her mistake, "I mean, because my stomach is unsettled. I don't think I can eat anything right now."

She calmed instantly, "Oh, ok. Well I've gotta go to school, you better stay home for the day."

Ranma agreed.

* * *

><p>There was an expression for this, killing someone with kindness, that's what Akane was doing. Every morning she made some foul concoction that would send Ranma straight to the toilet. Thankfully Akane seemed to be convinced that Ranma had the flu, and was trying hardest to help Ranma get better. She was being so nice that Ranma was beginning to feel the weight of her repressed guilt for cheating on her fiancee.<p>

Ranma was sick of being sick, she knew she needed to do something about the situation, but what? She found answer when Kasumi came to collect the laundry. Before handing over her clothes, Ranma always checked her pockets, ever since she'd ruined a coupon for a free sundae. That's how she found the forgotten business card.

Ranma crept downstairs after Kasumi left, she knew the girl would be busy, that should only leave her father and Mr Tendo in the house. The two were on the porch playing shogi, she passed them silently into the hallway where the phone was located. She peeked around to make sure the coast was clear then pulled the card from her pocket. Hesitating only for a moment, she dialed the number.

* * *

><p>"Yes, I'd like to make an appointment."<p>

"Ranma Saotome."

"Dr. Tofu referred me."

"As soon as possible."

"Please, it's urgent"

"This afternoon? Great."

"Thank you."

Nabiki had come up the hallway just as Ranma dialed the phone. _What is he up to..._ As soon as Ranma left the hallway Nabiki picked up the receiver and pressed redial.

"Xiao Tao's Chinese medicinal midwifery clinic, how can I help you?" Nabiki hung up quickly. _Stuck as a girl, vomiting, and a midwife? Oh. My. God._

* * *

><p>Ryoga was running for his life. A pitchfork that had been thrown like a javelin narrowly missed him. The safety of the treeline was so close... just another few steps. A voice from behind shouted, "Get back here you pig. I'm gonna roast you on a spit!" A rock whizzed past his ear and a curse was muttered far behind him. Then the trees were all around him, he relaxed just a little, but he didn't stop running.<p>

He had made it to Akari's ranch in record time, thanks to a farmer that had gone to town to sell his produce that had given him a ride. Akari had been heartbroken when he confessed to her what he had done. With eyes full of tears she had broken up with him. She would have let it go at that, she was too sweet a girl to be vengeful.

Her grandfather on the other hand had overheard and saw red. Determined to defend his granddaughter's honor he had taken it upon himself to bodily injure Ryoga. He'd chased him out of the house and across the property uttering curses and threats alike. Ryoga was quite sure that if he ever stepped foot on that ranch again he'd be a dead man.

No longer welcome where he was and not wanting to return to the Tendo's just yet, Ryoga decided to see if he could find his way home. It was a long shot, but what else did he have to do?

* * *

><p>Ranma looked up and down the street before entering the clinic. <em>If anyone saw me go into a place like this..<em>. She shuddered.

A pretty, young Chinese girl greeted her, "Hello, how can I help you?"

"I have an appointment, Ranma Saotome." She replied.

"Ah, yes, please take a seat." The girl gestured to a row of chairs along the side wall.

Ranma picked up a magazine off the chair next to her. She flipped it open to a random page, the article on the page started with, 'Sex during pregnancy? Yes you can, seven positions that will rock your world.' Ranma slammed the magazine down as if it had bitten her. _What kind of crazy, perverted magazine... _

"The midwife will see you now."

She was ushered into an examination room where a wrinkled old lady that reminded her of Cologne waited for her.

"Hop up on the bed dear." The woman instructed. As Ranma laid down, the woman continued. "Dr. Tofu has told me all about you, I must admit, I didn't expect to see you quite this soon. Pull up your shirt dear." The old woman put her hands on Ranma's stomach and Ranma felt chi probing her abdomen. "Hmm, yes, just over seven weeks along. Steady heartbeat." The probing chi washed over Ranma's whole body. "Yes, you're doing well yourself. Blood pressure is good..." She trailed off, _What is this? How very interesting... her chi flow is most unusual. I haven't seen a chi like this since... _The chi receded. "You are full of questions, I can tell. Sit up and ask what you would like to know."

_She's good..._ Ranma thought to herself. "How did ya send your chi into my body like that?"

The old midwife was surprised, "You actually felt it?" _Dr. Tofu wasn't kidding about the child's skills._

Ranma nodded, "Yeah, it spread from your fingers outward, like a spider's web."

"Impressive." Complimented the old woman. "It's a special technique of martial arts midwifery called the 'mama and baby wellness exam'."

"Martial arts midwifery?" There really was a martial art for everything...

"Yes, based on thousands of years of Chinese medicinal martial arts history. Speaking of which, you had questions for me?" She asked, trying to get the conversation back on track.

_Oh, right,_ "Is there a way to change me back to a guy so that this," she indicated her stomach, "just goes away?"

"No, even jumping in the Nannichuan would likely do nothing at this time. That or it could kill you, as you would change but the fetus may remain. You are a rather unique case. Unless you want to be a guinea pig for future cases, I would recommend not trying any Jusenkyo cures." The old woman warned.

"There must be something I can do, anything. I'm a guy! This isn't suppose to be happening. Please, if you know of anything, anything at all... I'll do whatever it takes!" Never one to give up, Ranma knew there had to be something.

"Well, there is one option. It might be dangerous. You would again be a guinea pig, it's never been done before in a case such as yours." She really hadn't wanted to offer the child this option. While the chance of contacting hot water during the procedure was low, it was impossible to rule out, Jusenkyo curses attracted water at the most inopportune moments. If she should turn back into a boy during the procedure it could well be fatal. On the other hand if she discovered the possibility through another clinic without any experience in magic and curses, the girl would likely jump at it and would increase her risk exponentially.

"Whatever it is, I'll do it!" At this point she felt there was nothing she wouldn't do to get her life back to normal (as normal as her life got anyway).

The old midwife sighed, "So be it. The only way is to terminate the pregnancy, abortion. I cannot perform it for you. You will have to wait for a colleague of mine to return from abroad. He is most skilled and with the two of us, should things go terribly wrong, you will stand the best chance of coming out alive."

"When will he be back?" The sooner it was over with, in Ranma's mind, the better.

"In two weeks. You may make an appointment with my secretary. Until then I can keep you comfortable, have you had any nausea?"

"Just this mornin'." Ranma replied.

"Here," the midwife whipped a -lit- moxa roll out of nowhere and poked Ranma in the leg, "that is the ancient anti-nausea moxibustion technique." She handed the roll to Ranma, "use it on the pressure point I just showed you."

Ranma did as instructed.

"Excellent. Whenever you feel nausea, use that to relieve it." The old woman smiled, the child had hit the pressure point just right after having seen it only once. _This one has potential. _The she frowned._ Such a pity..._ "Oh, and do try not to pick any fights. Any complications could be deadly." _For you and your opponent both... then again, it may prove useful._

"I'll try." The problem was that fights often picked her. "Um, about payment..." Ranma didn't have any money, she hoped they could work out a payment plan.

"Seeing such a unique case is payment enough for me dear. Don't worry about it." It was a once in a lifetime opportunity after all.

"Thank you."

Ranma made an appointment to come back in two weeks and left for home. She didn't notice that she had a camera wielding stalker.

* * *

><p>"Hello Ranma, I think you and I need to have a little chat." Nabiki said later that evening when the two were alone in the hallway.<p>

"What do you want Nabiki?" Nothing good ever came from her 'little chats'.

"Not out here." She dragged Ranma into her room. "Explain." Nabiki said as she held up a photo of Ranma in front of the midwifery clinic.

"How did you...?" Ranma asked in a panic.

"I have my ways." She replied mysteriously. "I never would have expected this from you. Oh I know Akane says you're a pervert all the time, but honestly, the only person I know more sexually repressed than you is Ryoga."

Ranma balled her fists and her cheeks turned pink.

Appraising Ranma's reaction, Nabiki came to a new conclusion. "Oh, I see. So Ryoga is the baby's daddy, eh? It must have been quite a trick getting that boy to loosen up. I suppose it shouldn't come as a surprise, he was the only company you had for weeks."

"What do you want Nabiki?" She repeated, rage and panic were warring within Ranma just then, fighting to get out.

"You haven't got any money, the only way I'll keep my mouth shut is if you do me a favor." She smiled slyly.

"What kind of favor?" Ranma asked with reasonable suspicion.

"If I told you, it would ruin half the fun. You should just agree and hold on to your little secret while it lasts."

_Oh, it'll last._ "Deal." As far as Ranma was concerned she only had to keep this quiet for two weeks, then it would be all over.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: **I wanted to add some information about why I think Ramna feeling female is plausible within this fic. Brain scans have shown that men and women have differences in parts of their brain and that transsexuals' brains are more similar in shape to the opposite gender or a mix of the two. This means gender perception could come from the formation of these brain regions, meaning it could be physical, not psychological. Now, when Ryoga, Shampoo or Mousse transform, their brains must be altered to fit in the smaller skulls, this means that Ranma's brain itself is subject to change from the male type to the female type. While Ranma's memories and certainly pride would be telling him he's always a male, _her_ body and subconscious mind while female could be sending her a different signal. Go ahead, Google "Transsexual differences caught on brain scan".

**Magic and Mushrooms Ch6**

Ranma had been having bouts of nausea frequently, mostly in the presence of Akane's cooking. Unfortunately, Akane was doing a lot of cooking. Fortunately, the moxibustion was working. She could smell the rancid stench creeping up the stairway and under her door this very second. Covering her head with the blankets provided little protection, but it would have to do, she was feeling too tired to get up at the moment. Alas a lay in was not in the cards this morning.

"Nihao Ranma!" Came the chipper voice of Shampoo from the bedroom window. Ranma groaned and pulled the blankets tighter, even though she knew it was futile. "Shampoo is bringing medicine for cold. Ranma feel better soon so can take Shampoo on date." (Shampoo's intentions were innocent and pure, her medicine wasn't tainted. Really. There was absolutely not an extremely strong love potion in there)

The blankets were ripped from Ranma's grip, Shampoo was standing over her holding a bottle and a spoon. "Oh, Shampoo, didn't hear ya there." Shampoo took the greeting as an invitation to shove the spoon in Ranma's mouth. Ranma rolled out of bed just in time to see her pillow coated in the viscous substance. Ranma was no fool, no way was she drinking that.

As Ranma tried to think up an excuse to get rid of the Amazon girl, another figure entered her room through the window. _Does anyone know how use the door around here? _(Hint: The answer is no)

"Morning Ranma Honey!" Ukyo exclaimed as she pulled out her portable grill and started piling on ingredients. "I heard you were under the weather and decided to fix you some of my cure-all okonomiyaki."

"Ranma no can eat stupid girl's food. Shampoo bring special medicine, is much better." Another spoonful of the questionable substance was thrust Ranma's way. A throwing spatula knocked the spoon from Shampoo's grasp.

"No, Ranma Honey is going to eat my special okonomiyaki." She flipped it off the grill and it landed on a plate. Ukyo knelt before Ranma and presented him with her most recent creation. (If it happened to have a bit of herb rumoured to enhance romantic feelings, it was purely coincidence. Really. No hidden agenda here...)

"Er..." was all Ranma managed before the room was flooded with black rose petals. _Seriously, we have a door!_

"Where is my Ranma darling? You awful, awful girl, what have you done with him?" Kodachi stepped accross the room, a teacup in hand. "I made him some herbal tea to ease his cold." (And perhaps help him get some extremely deep sleep, during which Kodachi would most certainly respect his body. Really. She had no plans to violate the unconscious boy whatsoever)

Kodachi, intent on getting the pigtailed girl to confess to hiding her dearest Ranma, didn't notice the grill on the floor. The teacup flew through the air as Kodachi tripped. The hot liquid splashed out of the cup and landed on Ranma, who screamed from the unexpected burn. "It's hot! It's hot! It's hot!"

Ukyo and Shampoo blinked in surprise.

"Ranma, you is..."

"Ranma Honey, you're..."

"Do not call that wretched girl by my beloved's name." Kodachi had tired of this little game, the pigtailed girl had most assuredly hidden her Ranma dearest and she was determined to get him back. To that end, she pulled out her gymnastics ribbon and launched an attack on the red head.

Ranma had been preparing to dodge when a spatula appeared before her face, the end of the ribbon wrapped around it. A metre beyond, a chui had slammed down on the middle of the ribbon, cracking the floor boards. Ranma's three suitors glared at one another. It was on.

Ribbons, gymnastic clubs, spatulas and chuis streaked across the room in a hailstorm of chaos. Ranma's face twisted into a scowl, she just wanted to go back to bed and these three were being way too noisy and annoying first thing in the morning. Her hand balled into a fist, she sped across the room and launched an uppercut into kodachi's chin that sent the girl flying out the window. Ukyo and Shampoo followed like strings on a kite, as they'd both been caught up in kodachi's ribbon.

Ranma heaved a great sigh and flopped back into her futon, minus the sticky pillow. Finally, some peace and quiet.

Seconds later her door opened to reveal Akane holding a tray laden with food... Akane's home cooked food, judging by the smell. Ranma thought she might cry, but first...

The bathroom door slammed behind her.

* * *

><p>As much as Ranma had enjoyed her days off from school, the novelty of being 'sick' had worn off. She didn't want a repeat of yesterday morning. Today she'd used the moxa roll before even a whiff of Akane's cooking reached her, with a plan to feign recovery. Her stomach grumbled, days of evading food had left her extremely hungry.<p>

She crept downstairs and a mouth watering aroma greeted her. It seemed as though the extra caution was unnecessary, Kasumi was clearly doing the cooking today. She paid little attention to the other members of household as she dug into the food with gusto. Man, it was good. She finished one bowl and rapidly filled another. She was so involved that she missed the shell shocked expressions of everyone watching. "I'm gonna go get dressed for school." She said as she headed back up to her room.

Soun, Genma, Nabiki and Kasumi tried their food cautiously. They all realised suddenly that they were full and had important things to do elsewhere.

Akane slowly brought her chopsticks up to her mouth. She paled. "Blech!" _How did Ranma eat this? _Sweetened condensed milk with pickles in rice may not have been her best idea.

* * *

><p>"Ah, what beauteous creatures I see before me. My glorious pigtailed goddess and the lovely Akane Tendo. How glorious it must be for you to find yourself basking in my radiance." Enter Tatewaki Kuno, stage left.<p>

_Oh great, this idiot... _"I don't see any radiance, although I do see somethin' ridiculous, you." Ranma replied. She turned the girl at side, "Akane, you go on ahead, I can handle this."

Akane looked hesitant, but class was about to start. "Ok, but don't be too late." She said before heading into the school."

"How eager you are for us to be alone together. I shall oblige you, let us date." Kuno proclaimed loudly.

Ranma reached into her school bag, "Oh, my darling Kuno. In honor of this momentous occasion, allow me to present you with a gift." _Fight crazy with crazy..._

"Yes, anything you desire, I shall permit!" He held his arms wide as if expecting an embrace to be the gift.

Ranma pulled her secret weapon out of her bag. "Here!" She hurled the chi infused rope at Kuno. It took him completely by surprise and dragged him backwards until he hit the statue of the principal. The two ends of the rope embedded themselves into the stone and held him in place. "See ya later Nutjob!" She shouted as she took off to class.

* * *

><p>Ryoga was sure that his home must be nearby. The street and all the buildings looked so familiar. Then again, it was dark.<p>

-splash-

From a window high above, Ryoga heard a voice say, "Be careful throwing dish water out the window, you could hit somebody."

"Don't worry, there's no one out there but a pig." Came the reply.

He groaned inwardly, (outwardly it sounded like a squeal) and dragged his clothes and bag into some bushes to be recovered later.

"There you are."

_What's she doing here?_

* * *

><p>Ranma had managed to keep out of trouble and fights so far. It hadn't been easy, Kuno had been pursuing her relentlessly and she was running out of ideas to fend him off. Shampoo had been trying to drag her to be checked up by Cologne. There had been a mystery challenger at the dojo that she'd had to talk Akane into fighting alone. Then one of the gymnasts hurt herself and Ranma had to help Akane train to replace her, she was still terrible. She'd been having bizarre food cravings. To top it off Nabiki had finally revealed what her favor would be and it was humiliating. All that added up to one hormonal and cranky Ranma.<p>

Akane came home late from gymnastics practice, exceedingly happy. "Look, P-chan is back!" She announced in the living room, Soun and Genma were not impressed and quietly continued their shogi game.

Akane shrugged and headed to her room babbling happily to the little black piglet. "...and that's how Saiyuri tripped and twisted her ankle. Now I get to fill in for her, isn't that exciting P-chan?"

Suddenly Ranma burst into the hallway from Nabiki's room, wearing a very skimpy, very naughty, maid costume.

The piglet in Akane's arms had a sudden attack of nose bleed-itis brought on by a sudden rush of impure thoughts. Akane of course didn't notice.

"Ranma, what are you wearing?" She asked incredulously.

Ranma didn't want to explain the details, so she said, "I owe Nabiki a favor." as if that was enough, and it really was, Akane knew her sister well. Ranma sent Ryoga a glare that looked like it could kill. "Lost are you P-chan? I'm pretty sure this isn't where you want to be." While Ranma had felt a thrill at the reaction she'd just elicited from little pig, she couldn't help being annoyed him for some reason. (It had nothing to do with his visit to Akari. Really. Nope, nothing at all)

"Stop picking on P-Chan" Akane said with an eyeroll as she headed for her room.

"Where are you goin'?" Ranma asked.

"To bed, I have to be up early." She replied.

An angry aura flared around Ranma, reminiscent of the one often exuded by Akane herself when angry with Ranma.

Akane turned in shock. _What did I do?_

Ryoga was frightened. He'd never seen Ranma so angry before, and from her glare he suspected it was directed entirely at him.

It vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared. Looking into P-chan's eyes Ranma said, "Hmph! As if I care who you sleep with anyway." before storming down the hall into her own room, slamming the door behind her.

Akane went into her bedroom and put P-chan down on the bed. "Seriously, what is her problem anyway. I've been trying my best to be supportive of her and this is the thanks I get?."

Ryoga wasn't sure what was going on, but he suspected that he wasn't going to like it.

* * *

><p>Ryoga had been stuck as P-Chan for several days now. When Akane was home she wouldn't let him out of her sight and she'd been locking him in her room while she was at school (well, the door wasn't locked, but a locked door and a closed door to a piglet weren't that much different).<p>

He was still bewildered by all the changes around the Tendo home. Ranma seemed to be staying a girl full time and was swinging between moods rather violently. One minute she'd be calm and composed, the next she'd be oozing a depressive aura that could rival his own, and then for very little reason she could fly off the handle in an angry fit only to deflate the very next minute back into unnerving calmness. She definitely did not approve of Akane having him in her bed. She never had, but his gut told him that the reasoning had changed. Ranma was indebted to Nabiki somehow. The most terrifying thing was that Ranma was eating Akane's cooking voluntarily, and seemed be _enjoying_ it.

Akane was being exceptionally kind to Ranma, despite her mood swings. Akane seemed to pity her for some reason that she hadn't fully discussed with her pet pig. Phrases like "poor Ranma", "she needs my support right now", and "with everything she's going through" were his only clues.

If only he could get himself to some hot water he might be able to find some answers to what was going on in the Tendo home.

-click-

"Oh, hello little piggy, don't mind me." Kasumi was collecting the laundry. As soon as her back was turned Ryoga made a break for the door.

_Freedom! _In the bathroom he found the hot water already prepared. He didn't see anyone though, so he leapt in head first.

"Hey! Water no is for you, pig boy." Shampoo was sitting on the window ledge looking at Ryoga in disapproval.

"What are you doing here Shampoo?" He asked while making sure she couldn't see anything under the water.

"I is bringing Airen one time use Nannichuan powder so that he can take Shampoo on date." She sounded quite proud of her plan.

"Why would Ranma need..." gears in Ryoga's head turned and clicked, "Ranma is stuck as a girl?"

"Yes, is too too tragic." She lamented.

"How? Why?" He asked.

"Shampoo not know. He say happen on training trip." Her eyes narrowed, "Wait, you was on training trip, you know what happen?" Her tone was accusatory.

"What? No! I didn't know until you told me, remember?" An angry Shampoo was a violent Shampoo, he didn't need that.

"Maybe Shampoo make you remember."

_Crap..._

Her chui appeared in her hands suddenly and she crashed one down into the tub, cracking it. Ryoga hopped away quickly, backing into the bathroom's entryway and grabbing a spare set of clothes he had hidden away there. The cupboard was smashed to bits a second later by an unreasonably angry Shampoo. Ryoga turned and ran, dressing as he went. He nearly killed himself tripping over his pants as he pulled them up.

The two ran through the living room past Soun and Genma, who were as usual playing shogi. Ryoga was ducking and weaving, hesitant to hit a girl. Shampoo was causing wholesale destruction everywhere her chui landed. Ryoga fled the house, jumped the property's wall and took off down the street with Shampoo in pursuit.

Back inside the living room, a broken light fixture hung from the ceiling, family photos were strewn about the floor, their frames broken, glass shattered. The table was cracked down the middle and there were craters and holes in the walls, the floor and even the ceiling.

"Check." Soun said in a calm and level voice.

-Do over- read the sign Genma held up.

It was a fairly normal day after all.

* * *

><p>Ranma and Akane were sitting under a tree outside Furinkan High during their lunch break. Akane was being 'thoughtful' again by making Ranma lunch, while she herself ate one made by Kasumi. For once though, Ranma didn't seem to mind. Food cravings were upon her and Akane's food was unintentionally perfect for someone desiring that strange combination of foods enjoyed by pregnant women everywhere.<p>

"Ranma Saotome! I challenge you." An angry voice provided the perfect distraction.

"What did I do to upset you today?" Ranma hadn't even seen the nearly blind boy in months.

"Don't take me for a fool. I know you asked Shampoo out on a date today! Once I defeat you though, she'll be all mine." As Mousse announced this, Ranma peeked at Akane's reaction. Nothing. She was watching with interest, but not a hint of jealousy.

_Hmm, maybe she's finally starting to believe I'm not a womanizer._ Ranma thought. _She should have been more worried about men..._ her mind commented. "Shut up!" She yelled out loud.

"Afraid are you? Well that's just too bad, Shampoo is mine!" Mousse yelled as he began his attack. Various chains and ropes shot from his sleeves, all of them wrapped around Akane. "I've got you now Ranma!"

"Akane!" Ranma cried as she whipped off her belt. She hardened it with chi and slashed through the chains connecting Akane to Mousse.

Akane jumped aside while shaking off the remains of the ropes. "Put your glasses on you idiot!" She yelled, not at all pleased by the treatment she had just received.

Mousse did as he was instructed. "Ranma you coward, you would have Akane fight in your place?"

"You attacked her, you moron!" That reminded her though, she wasn't supposed to be getting in fights. "Hey, I don't suppose you'd be willing to settle this the day after tomorrow?"

"Not a chance!" He replied as he charged in her direction.

Ranma used the chi blade belt to deflect the blows he was sending her way. _I gotta think of a way to stop this fight._ Mousse wasn't giving her any openings. Suddenly an idea struck her and she jumped into the tree above. She grabbed as many leaves as she could and hardened them with chi, sending a dozen projectiles in his direction. There were a few rips in his clothing but he'd managed to evade most of them, she expected as much though. Pulling on the chi settings, she reversed the leaves and they crashed into Mousse's back. _Damn_... Even though they had all hit their target, he had taken no damage.

"Ah yes, my new cloak is enchanted to repel chi attacks! Surprised are you, Saotome?" Mousse laughed at this.

Ranma couldn't risk a direct fight with him yet. It was time then to use the Saotome secret technique, Fast Break. Ranma jumped from the tree ran away until she could think of a new strategy.

"Get back here you coward!" Mousse shouted as he pursued her down the street. Akane wasn't far behind, someone had to make sure Ranma made it back to class on time.

Just as Ranma was about to turn a corner Ryoga ran past. Ranma turned to ask him to help her with this idiot, "Wait, Ryoga gimme a hand-". Three things happened at once, Ryoga turned to look at her, Shampoo ran around the corner and Mousse hit Ranma in the stomach with an iron ball on a chain. "-oomph."

Ranma looked down in shock, a wave of maternal protectiveness crawled up from her very depths. She hadn't cared a lick about the growing baby before, she had planned to be rid of it the very next day, but the instinct to protect was powerful right then, overwhelming even. "You bastard!" The red flames of her battle aura burst forth and she seemed to grow in size before the other shocked teens. The aura was hot, angry and so malevolent that the others were petrified in place.

"I'll kill you!" Her voice was deep and demonic as she spoke. Her eyes were sparking as she stepped towards the frozen Mousse. "Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken." She littered him with punches, the aura was so intense that he couldn't fight back. He fell to his knees but still she rained blows down upon him. He flopped forward onto his face, she raised her foot and was about to bring it down on his head when someone grabbed her from behind.

The aura vanished immediately and Ranma blinked a few times. "Wha-" pain washed over her and she gripped her stomach, collapsing onto her knees.

"Hey, are you ok?" Ryoga's voice asked from beside her.

She shook her head, "hospital" was all she was able to say before consciousness left her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: Updates may be a little slower during the holiday season.**

**Magic and Mushrooms Ch7**

Ryoga was alone in the street holding an unconscious Ranma in his arms. _Dammit! How am I supposed to find a hospital? _Shampoo had left to take Mousse to the Cat Cafe and Akane and run home to tell Ranma's father and the Tendos that Ranma would be the hospital... assuming Ryoga could find it of course. He cursed them for having left him here alone then took off in the direction he thought it might be in.

Normally he would not have resorted to this, but he was desperate. He asked the first person he came across to please walk him to the hospital, this was no time to merely ask for directions. They thought he was a tad on the 'special' side, but did it anyway for the sake of the poor girl in his arms.

A nurse rushed over when he entered the emergency room. "What happened to her?"

"She was hit in the stomach with an iron ball. She screamed and clutched at herself, then she fainted." He decided it was best not to include her violent outburst.

The nurse rushed into a side room and came back with two men pushing a gurney. Ryoga laid her down on it, she looked so small suddenly. She had been frighteningly powerful just thirty minutes prior, but now she looked as if a touch could break her. They wheeled her away and he was asked to sit in the waiting area.

The wait seemed like an eternity. He spent the time wondering what could have caused Ranma to snap like she had. Mousse could be annoying, but no one deserved what she had almost done to him.

The nurse that had met them at the door walked down the hallway to meet him.

"How is she?" He asked.

"She's doing well and the baby seems fine. If she'd been struck even an inch lower she may have lost it. What was she doing fighting in her condition anyway?" The nurse finished on a scolding tone.

"She was attacked!" He thought so anyway, Ranma wouldn't have bothered picking a fight with Mousse. _Wait_... "Did you say baby!?" He shouted.

"Yes, I'm sorry, I had assumed you were the father." He had to sit down. He took some deep breaths, _Could I be...? No, it can't be. But what if i am? _

"Anyway, she's awake if you want to see her. She's been moved to room 202. Oh, and she kept asking about someone named Mousse." With that said the nurse turned and left.

The armrest cracked under his fingers. _Mousse? Then it's him? Is that why they were fighting? _Ryoga supposed he should have felt relieved, but instead he found a strange ache in his chest. After taking several minutes to collect himself, he walked down the hall until he found her room. She was sitting on the bed looking out the window when he sat down.

"Thank you, for stopping me." She said quietly.

"Yeah, no problem." He replied. He wanted to ask if it was true, but he couldn't form the words.

"I wouldn't have been able to live with myself..." her fingers were clutching the blanket tightly.

The ache in Ryoga's chest twisted like a knife. "So, you and Mousse? How could you this to m-" he paused, "...Akane?" _Why did I almost say that? I don't care what Ranma does or who she does it with._

Ranma's head spun around, "What?" It took a second to figure out what Ryoga was implying. "You moron!" She slapped him upside his head.

Ryoga gritted his teeth together as he jumped up and grabbed the front of her gown threateningly.

"Sleeping with guys isn't somethin' I make a habit of." Ranma said with an eyeroll. "It's yours, dumbass."

His grip on her gown released. "Oh." He said, the corners of his lips curling into a slight grin as he sat down again. "What are you-" he was cut off when someone entered the room.

"Oh, don't mind me." The woman said as she pushed in some sort of medical device on wheels. She looked at Ranma, "Hello, I'm Sakura, I'm an ultrasound technician. I know they checked when you came in, but I'm going to have a closer look to double check how everything is doing. We'll get clearer images now that you have a full bladder. You did drink all the water you were given, right?"

Ranma nodded, and returned to looking out the window.

"Maybe I should-" Ryoga started.

"Oh, you don't have to go." Sakura told him, "I'm sure you want to see too."

"Er, ok." He had to admit, he was curious.

"Lay down and pull up your gown." Sakura instructed as she set up her equipment. Soon she was rubbing gel on Ranma's abdomen, then she started up the machine. As she ran the wand over Ranma she pointed to the screen. "This is the baby." Ryoga thought it looked like a peanut. "The bigger part is the head, and this is the body. Look, you can just barely see a tiny leg here." Ryoga squinted, but couldn't see it. "Ok, let's have a listen." She flipped a switch.

-thp thp thp thp thp thp thp thp-

Ryoga's eyes widened, "is that..?"

"The baby's heartbeat." Sakura nodded.

"Should it be that fast?" He asked.

"Yep, it sounds perfect. Well, I'll leave you two alone." Sakura wiped the gel off Ranma's stomach and packed up her equipment. She handed a printout to each them just before she wheeled the cart away. Soon they were alone in the room.

Ryoga brushed his fingers over the picture, feeling strange. He looked up to find out how Ranma was dealing with this when he saw tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.

Her heart had clenched when she heard her baby's heartbeat for the first time, she'd been unconscious during the previous scan. _This is real._ Before it had been something out of sight and out of mind. Now it was real and she was having second thoughts about her appointment. Feelings were stirring within her, maternal protectiveness, affection and fear. A heck of a lot of fear.

_If I didn't go... Pops would be so ashamed. Mom would kill us both. Akane would be disgusted by me and angry for what I've done to her. Everyone that knows me would know what I've done as a girl. Shampoo could well try to kill me. Uuchan would be disappointed in me. Mr Tendo would be furious. Ryoga probably wants to get out of here as fast as he can. _A hand on her shoulder broke her out of her thoughts.

"You ok?" Ryoga asked.

Ranma had never felt so many things at once. She wasn't sure if it was due to being a girl, the situation finally sinking in, or hormones. What she did know was that she was dangerously close to crying. _How embarrassing_.

"I have ta pee." She said as an excuse to leave the room and because drinking a whole litre of water will do that to you.

Ryoga looked at her in bewilderment "O.. kay..." _Is that what's upsetting her?_

Ranma splashed water on her face and took some deep breaths to calm down after relieving herself. "I guess you can see why I'm stuck as a girl now." She commented as she re-entered the room and settled back into bed.

"Yeah." He was still finding it a little hard to process. "How is this possible? You're a guy."

"Except when I'm not." She replied bitterly.

"What are you going to do? Shampoo has some instant Nannichuan powder. If you used it, you'd be a guy again so it would be over right?" He asked.

Ranma sighed, "No, at best it would have no effect, at worst it could kill me. To be honest, I was planning on getting rid of it, the medical way. I have an appointment tomorrow, but I don't know if I can go through with it now."

"Oh. What changed?" He asked, feeling oddly relieved to know she was having doubts.

"When Mousse hit me, I felt real fear at the thought of it being hurt. You saw how badly I wanted to protect it. I've never felt anything so powerful. I tried to deny it. This is could seriously mess up my life, but when I heard that heartbeat..." She smiled sadly, but it quickly turned to a frown. "I just don't know anymore."

Ryoga sort of understood, it had been a strange feeling hearing that heartbeat and realizing that he'd had a part in it. Had Ranma been a real girl, he might be rejoicing at the chance to have a family, to not be alone any more. As it was, he just felt weird.

"Just don't tell anyone, Ok? No matter what, it can't get back to my mom, this seems like somethin' that she could make me 'n Pops commit seppuku over. I can't let Pops die because of something I did."

"What is it that you did, Ranma?" Ranma and Ryoga turned in surprise to see Akane standing in the doorway.

"Akane!" Ranma exclaimed when she saw Akane in the doorway. Guilt gnawed it's way to the surface as she regarded her fiancée. _Dammit! _She took a deep breath, "I guess I should tell ya. Come in."

Akane sat in the seat next to Ryoga, "Is this about why you are stuck as a girl?"

"Yes, I'm-"

"And the Heart's Desire mushrooms, is it about them too?" Akane interrupted.

"You know about them?" Ranma was surprised. _How does Akane know?_

"Heart's Desire?" Ryoga asked.

"_Those_ mushrooms Ryoga." Ranma replied to him.

"I kinda found the book you were reading. You left it on the roof." Akane said.

"But why are they called Heart's Desire?" Ryoga queried further.

"Because," Akane explained, "if you eat them, they will allow your subconscious thoughts to control you and reveal your deepest, most secret desires. Then they will remove your inhibitions long enough for you to act on them."

Ryoga paled, "Your deepest desires...?"

"So, the mushrooms, when you ate them, they revealed you wanted to be a girl right?" Akane guessed. She looked very proud of herself for coming to that conclusion.

"What? No! I didn't wanna be stuck this way!" Ranma yelled.

"Then what was your desire?" Akane asked.

Ranma's eyes darted sideways to look at Ryoga, who had been looking at her awaiting her answer. Their eyes meet and both their faces turned red, which Akane failed to notice.

Ranma's stuttered reply was, "T-that's not what's important. The important thing is that I'm pre-"

"Ranma!" Came a new voice from the doorway.

"M-m-mom?" _Crap crap crap... _

Ranma grabbed Ryoga's arm and pulled him in close. She whispered in his ear, "She can't find out, she'll kill me, literally. Please tell the doctors to keep quiet for now, please." He nodded in reply.

"Whispering sweet nothings are you?" Asked Nabiki, who entered the room behind Nodoka. She was in turn followed by Genma, Kasumi and Soun.

Ranma narrowed her eyes at the girl. "Just saying goodbye."

"Yes, I really must be going now." Ryoga bowed politely and quite gladly exitted the room.

* * *

><p>Ryoga's head was spinning as he stepped into the hall. He slumped against the wall and looked at the picture from the ultrasound. <em>Oh man... what am I gonna do about this madness? <em>He wondered to himself. He noticed people staring at him and realised he'd smashed his head backward against the wall and cracked it. "He he he..." He laughed awkwardly, then took off in hopes of finding the nurse he'd seen earlier.

* * *

><p><em>What was Ranma going to tell me?<em> Akane wondered. She didn't dare ask now though, it was something that Ranma felt Nodoka might kill her over.

"No, he didn't hit me that hard. I just think I used too much chi, I let my battle aura get out of control." Ranma was explaining to Genma.

"Ranma, that was careless of you. We'll have to retrain you in the proper use of battle auras." Genma replied.

"Ok Pops."

"What I don't understand," Nodoka started, "is why you were fighting as a girl. Why didn't you change back into my big strong boy? It would have been much easier on you."

Everyone froze. They all knew that Ranma was stuck, but would telling her that result in her demanding Ranma and Genma commit seppuku?

"Er..."

"Uh..."

"While you see..."

"The thing is..."

Everyone sputtered at once. No one could think of a reasonable reply though.

"Yes?" Nodoka asked as she unwrapped her katana from the cloth she carried it in.

"It's training!" Akane exclaimed suddenly. She was determined to keep Ranma safe.

Everyone looked at her wide eyed.

"Training?" Nodoka asked.

Ranma took over. "Yes, I was defeated in my girl form. I realised that it's my greatest weakness. So I decided that I should remain as a girl for a time and train so that I may become stronger!"

Nodoka covered the sword back up. "How very manly of you. However, I'm concerned about your health. Battle aura or not, you are recovering, so I'm going to stay at the Tendo's for a while."

No one looked happy about this, least of all Ranma and Genma. Who wore matching expressions of fear.

_Oh, poor Ranma. I have to help her keep her secret! As soon as I figure out what is... _Akane decided. She had been really enjoying Ranma's company the past few weeks. Accepting Ranma a girl and letting go of her jealousy had made things so much easier. No one was going to hurt her friend.

* * *

><p><em>Well that was fast<em>. Already Ryoga was wandering in a deep forest (actually a rather small park), unsure where he was. Oh well, that gave him time to think and he had a lot to think about.

_She looked right at me. Why did she look at me when Akane asked her what her desire was? Does that mean she really does like me? _He shook his head, _No, Ranma is a guy._ He insisted to himself. Although... _She did say that she liked me that night..._ He thought. _Maybe..._

_Ok, say she does, and that's only if, then what? It's still Ranma in there. Ok I get it, I clearly,_ he shuddered, _desired her body at the time._ _What did she expect when she's constantly teasing me and making me frustrated. No matter how cute her girl half is though Ranma is still a boy. Even if she did go through with this, she'll go right back to being a man. _He nodded to himself. _That's right, once Ranma is a guy again he'll get over whatever this is. I can't forget that. _

_Ok then, now that that's settled... About Ranma's current situation. If she was really a girl of course I'd take responsibility and ask to marry her. _He laughed out loud at that thought._ That's not gonna happen, I'm not into guys, which she will be again eventually. She'd probably also kick my ass just for thinking it. _He wondered if he should get a job to help out, or if that would just offend Ranma's pride._ I wouldn't be able to find my way there everyday anyway. _

Ryoga had no idea what the right thing to do was when the mother of your child was a man. He laughed again, but not humorously, "Ha ha ha hahaha!" He sounded rather maniacal, tears were streaming down his face. If anyone had seen him, they would have run away screaming. _This is insane, how did my life come to this?_

* * *

><p>Back at the hospital, Akane, Genma and Nodoka were still visiting Ranma. Genma had been trying to persuade Nodoka to leave, but she was hearing none of it. Ranma wasn't sure why she herself had to stay, now that she knew everything was fine.<p>

"Nihao Ranma."

_Great, more guests_. Ranma sighed as Shampoo and Cologne entered the room. "Hey Shampoo, how's Mousse?"

"He hurt, but he be ok." Shampoo replied.

That was a relief to Ranma, "I'm glad."

"You did quite a number on the poor fool." Cologne commented. "That sounds like quite a technique you used."

Ranma shrugged, "It wasn't a technique, I just let my aura get out of hand."

"Maybe so, maybe so." Cologne said with a hint of mystery. "Then again..." The old woman brought the head of her staff quickly, but gently down onto Ranma's stomach. Her face became serious and sad. "It is as I thought."

"What is you old hag?" Ranma didn't like being prodded. She saw the old woman's eyes shift sideways, indicating that she shouldn't say in front of Nodoka. _Oh_... Ranma's eyes widened, _the old bat knows!_

"Is there something wrong with my son?" Nodoka asked.

"I wouldn't say something is wrong, No." Cologne replied to Nodoka, then turned to Shampoo, "Let us go granddaughter, we have no more business here."

"But great grandmother..." Shampoo started, but Cologne was already bouncing on her staff out the door.

"Shampoo be seeing you later." She waved to Ranma and followed Cologne out of the room.

"That was weird." Akane stated, looking after the two Chinese women.

* * *

><p>Not long after Ranma was released from the hospital and was free to return home. She could tell that Akane was itching to have a talk with her and find out what was going on, but Nodoka barely left her side. When her mother finally decided to take a bath and give Ranma a break she headed up to the girl's room.<p>

-knock knock-

"Come in." Said Akane.

Ranma opened the door and entered. She closed the door quietly and stood there looking awkward. She opened her mouth, but couldn't speak. It had seemed easier when Ryoga, her partner in crime, had been in the room with her.

"Why don't you sit?" Akane gestured toward her desk chair.

Ranma took a seat and looked at her hands. "Akane, I did somethin'. It's why I'm stuck as a girl..."

"Yes?" Akane was on the edge of her seat (well, her bed) in anticipation.

Ranma reached into her pocket and gripped the photo from the ultrasound. She withdrew her hand slowly. "It might be easier to show ya." She began to extend her hand...

"Ranma!" The door flew open and Nodoka rushed in.

Ranma shoved her hand right back into her pocket. Akane's face was a mixture of disappointment and annoyance.

"You should be in bed dear." Nodoka scolded.

"I thought you were taking a bath?" Ranma asked.

"I just couldn't relax knowing you needed me. Now off you go." She made a shooing motion out the door.

Ranma sighed, "Goodnight, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Alright." Akane said as she watched Ranma leave. She scowled at Nodoka as soon as the woman's back was turned. She had been so close.

* * *

><p>"Nihao Ranma!" Shampoo climbed through the window bright and early the next morning.<p>

Ranma groaned, she had yet to decide whether or not to go her appointment, but figured she really should get up anyway. "Hello Shampoo." She briefly considered reminding the girl that they did in fact have a door, but decided against it. None of them would ever really learn.

"Shampoo make you too too tasty tea. It very good for health." She grinned and presented Ranma with a cup.

_She's getting less and less creative..._ Ranma thought. "Thanks Shampoo." Ranma pretended to drink it, but held the tea in her mouth as she left for the washroom. She spit it in the sink. _Probably a love potion, again..._

"Is time for your appointment. Hurry hurry." Shampoo said as Ranma returned to her room. _Any minute now... _thought Shampoo.

"How do you know about that?" Asked a shocked Ranma.

"Shampoo have her ways." _That and Great Grandmother knows only martial arts midwife in town. _After learning about the unique chi Ranma had displayed, Cologne assumed Xiao Tao had somehow been involved with her son-in-law. It hadn't been difficult to uncover Ranma's appointment. It was up to Shampoo to make sure Ranma went. Speaking of which... _Why she still conscious? Sleep potion should work by now._

"May as well join us for breakfast." Ranma said when she was done getting ready.

"Ok!" Shampoo eagerly followed along.

When it became obvious that Ranma wasn't going to fall asleep, Shampoo decided to slip her back up dose of potion into Ranma's food. She carefully snuck it onto a plate of fish before serving it to Ranma. Ranma's chopsticks descended towards the fish as Shampoo watched in anticipation, only to have Genma snatch the fish up and devour it in a single bite. _Stupid stupid old man!_

"Hey!" Ranma shouted, but she didn't start a fight. Even if she had been allowed to fight, she didn't much feel like it. There was still an internal debate being waged within her and neither side seemed to winning. _Just get it over with!_ Part of her mind screamed. A weight settled in her stomach at the thought, _but_... She looked up and watched Akane talking animatedly to Kasumi. The weight doubled. _She'll hate you._ The voice continued to prod. _She'll hate me regardless once I tell her. _She replied to herself. _Then don't tell her. _The voice answered. Guilt washed over Ranma at thought and she knew she couldn't take the easy way out, no matter how much she wanted to. _Oh, but you'll take the other easy route? _The voice mocked her, referring to the appointment. _Wait, What side are you on anyway?_

"Well, that was... hmm... a little nap..." Genma passed out on the floor. Nobody paid him any mind though, he was often a lazy old sod.

Ranma's eyes landed in her mother, she shuddered. If that woman only knew... _There's really no choice then is there?_ She asked herself rhetorically. She looked at her father, sleeping so peacefully. He had no idea how very close they both were to death. The decision was made, she didn't like it, but it had to be done. She gathered all her resolve and strode out of the house before she could change her mind.

Shampoo followed behind, trying to figure out how she could knock Ranma unconscious without the potion. A direct blow to the neck would work best, but she'd have to catch the martial artist off guard. "Look, what pretty kitty!" She announced while pointing down an empty side street.

* * *

><p>Ukyo was on her way to visit her Ranma Honey. She'd only just found out that Ranma had been hospitalized. Her plan was to cook for her poor fiancée while she was on the mend. On the way to the Tendo dojo she was met by a most unwelcome sight. There before her was Ranma, holding shampoo in an affectionate embrace. <em>What on Earth?<em>

* * *

><p>Ranma clung to Shampoo, cowering from the supposed cat. Shampoo raised her hand, intending to strike Ranma while her guard was down. When her hand was midway through its slice however, Ranma suddenly broke free. "Hey!" Ranma shouted in a mix of annoyance and amusement. "Can't you tell a dog from a cat?"<p>

Shampoo turned to see a scruffy mutt was now sitting in the centre of the street, scratching it's ear with its hind paw. _Curses_... She tried a number of other tactics to distract Ranma, including the old "What's that over there?" Technique but nothing worked.

Soon they were stepping inside the clinic and Shampoo grew desperate. Knowing that there wasn't much time left, she launched an assault while Ranma was leaning over the counter, filling out a medical form. Shampoo drew her fist back and released. Before her fist collided with Ranma, she felt something hot between her shoulder blades. _What?_ Her fist made contact, but nothing happened, except for Ranma scratching the spot Shampoo had struck as though a fly had landed on her.

Shampoo turned to see a wrinkled old woman, who winked at her and waved a moxa roll between her fingers. There was no way the old midwife was going to let those Amazons interfere with her plans.

* * *

><p>Ukyo gasped in shock when she saw Ranma and Shampoo's destination. She had decided to follow the pair to discover what they were up to. <em>A midwifery clinic? Why would they... unless... <em>Her eyes widened. _Is Shampoo pregnant with Ranma Honey's baby?_ "No!"


End file.
